Arizona’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio launches own tequila brand

by EresNerd on July 2, 2012 in El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

(PNS reporting from BOCADECACA, AZ) Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arapio is launching his own brand of tequila, Arpaio Viejo, he told random diners at Gallego’s Mexican Cafe here yesterday.

“I demand high standards for my office and my tequila,” Arpaio told the restaurant full of retirees from states that aren’t Arizona. “I was dissatisfied with the other options on the market, and at my favorite Mexican restaurant, so I decided to create my own.”

Arpaio’s brand will offer the traditional tequila styles of  añejo, plata, and reposado — but that’s not all.

“Later in the year we introduce my super-premium line, called Arpaio Viejo 1070, aged 10 years in mesquite wood barrels in the desert, and then wrapped in pink chonies for seven more years of additional tempering.  You know it’s ready to drink when you pull the cork and instead of breathing, it whimpers.” Arpaio said.

His tequila line enters the market of celebrity tequila brands that include Sammy Haggar’s Cabbo Wabbo, Kinky Friedman’s Man in Black, and popular Patrón, which is owned by hair care product mogul John Paul DeJoria of John Paul Mitchell Systems.

Agave Frijolero Spirits CEO John Sanchez, which will distribute the brand said, “Sheriff Joe Arapio is a well-known tequila connoisseur. I was excited when he approached me with his idea of creating tequilas that meet his exacting standards.”

Arpaio’s notoriety was a positive factor when deciding to market the new liquor, he said. “Sheriff Arpaio’s knowledge of the Hispanic market will make Viejo Arapio a tremendous success.”

Agave Frijolero Spirits purchased several blue agave farms and artisan distilleries in the heart of tequila country in Jalisco to supply the new brand, according to Sanchez. “The sheriff and I spent a month talking to people there who shared our passion for tequila. Then we got a silent Mexican partner and bought tons of land.”

“We think he’s Mexican, anyhow,” he added.  “With all this birth certificate fraud going around these days he might be Kenyan, who knows?”

Isn’t it ironic  a famous anti-immigrant figure would launch a tequila brand?

Arpaio ‘s answer:

I am providing jobs in Mexico, so they won’t have to come over to Arizona, but if they do, I will arrest them and toast them with the Plata Arpaio Viejo.

Arapio Viejo tequila will initially available in Arizona with plans to expand throughout the Southwestern United States.

Label hacked from BeerLabelizer.com

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