Arpaio plans massive ‘Operation Rosca’ to find Tres Reyes gang

by EresNerd on January 4, 2013 in El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

(PNS reporting from PHOENIX) Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio has begun Operation Rosca, a massive sweep designed to cripple the Tres Reyes smuggling cartel — the Three Kings. The cartel smuggles babies in bread and traffics in incense and precious metals, according to “America’s toughest sheriff.”

Arapio became aware of the cartel, which “came from the east,” when concerned citizens flooded his office with calls about “Middle-Eastern-looking men smelling of incense” walking westward on McDowell Road in Phoenix’ Bethlehem neighborhood. Locals reported that they asked where the Latino barrio was located, which “aroused suspicious about their status.”

Arpaio is prepared to detain and deport all of Los Tres Reyes and thwart their plans to “gift” area residents, he announced this morning.

Can you donate $5 or $10 so we can make more ñews y satire?
MR. POCHO SAYS ¡GRACIAS!

“There won’t be any ‘frankincense’ or ‘myrrh’ coming into my county,” Arpaio told reporters gathered around the armored personnel carrier he now uses as his office.  “There won’t be any illegal babies being smuggled into my country hidden in Mexican bread,” he said. “And if I find another anchor baby named Jesus, so much the better!

Bethlehem resident Elizabeth Ramos said three Middle-Eastern-looking men were seen in the neighborhood but “they were picked up DPS Troopers two days ago.”

Tino Saenz, an attorney and community activist, told PNS “the men were taken to the state capitol at the request of Gov. Jan Brewer” but the men were released after secretly meeting with the governor.  

“Why is Sheriff Arpaio now seeking the arrest of men who met incognito with the governor?” Saenz asked while sipping Earl Grey tea, hot.

Ramos believes the crackdown is a response to rumors sweeping the poor Latino barrio that the brightly-glowing UFO that hovered over the neighborhood last week heralded more than last night’s Fiesta Bowl football game.

Arpaio on a tank at the Fiesta Bowl Parade photo via Twitter but we don’t know who took the original. If you know, let us know, so we can give appropriate credit.

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT.  DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

Previous post:

Next post: