Especial Correspondents


Dude was out driving his taxi last week in Villa Mercedes, in the province of San Luis, Argentina, when he started having electrical problems with his car. First the radio went crazy. Then the car died. Then he saw this thing in the sky. But what was it? Doh! It was an UNIDENTIFIED flying object — an objeto volador NO IDENTIFICADO.

More at INEXPLICATA, the Journal of Hispanic UFOlogy. FWIW, Inexplicata locates the incident in San Luis, MX, but we think that’s wrong.

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Stupid people are so stupid they think they’re smart; ditto for pendejos who think everyone loves them. This well-documented phenomenon — the Dunning-Kruger Effect — is most evident in a gigantor vortex of bullshit that’s darkening the skies over 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC.

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Where have all the brown folks gone?

I sit at a bar and I count how many are like me, I count two in a room of 30, one is a bar back Latinx and one is an African American bartender, I’ve done this since I realized that I am the other, and I need to find allies quick, in case shit goes down, in case there’s a race war

I order thai food from a food truck and the señor making the food could be my primo, while the Asian owner takes my order [Mas…]

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It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPhone X — and that’s why we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho Best Ways to Survive Black Friday:

8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.

7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.

6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.
[Mas…]

See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago? We’ve got eight little-known factoids right here:

8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date

7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly

6. Squanto’s “Mezcla de Maiz” was really esquites from the barrio elotero. [Mas…]


This is how they begin the story about POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz and the Disney/Pixar film COCO over at NPR’s LatinoUSA: [Mas…]

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First Person True Story: My Holiday at the Laundromat

by FRANKIE FIRME November 20, 2017 Cultura

Happy holidays to all. Turkey, ham, tamales, eggnog y todo, this is the time of the year where you put a lot of stuff “on hold” till next year, while we get together with familia and friends. It’s a beautiful time of the year, where putting something on the back burner for awhile isn’t such […]

[Mas…]

Mexico’s Rafa Marquez quits pro soccer, wants to be drug lord

by EL PEJIBAYE STAFF November 7, 2017 Cultura
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(PNS reporting from GUADALAJARA) Mexican national team defender Rafael Marquez announced his retirement from fútbol today, telling a press conference he is ready to commit more time to his budding drug-trafficking career and scaling the hierarchy of the Sinaloa and/or Jalisco New Generation drug cartels.

[Mas…]

Sexual harassment is everywhere, not just Hollywood! Shocking, no?

by Dolores Quintana November 7, 2017 Cultura
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Currently, the focus is on Hollywood and Harvey Weinstein, who has been accused of harassment, attacks, and/or rape by over 70 women. This evil industry. Hollywood. Shocking, no? No, carnales. Before the Weinstein story broke, Bill Cosby, the sweater-wearing, jello-eating [alleged] rapist, was accused of attacking or raping 41 women. Did we forget about him? […]

[Mas…]

Before America went crazy, Uncle Sam welcomed immigrants (audio)

by Especial Correspondents October 18, 2017 Audio
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Before World War II, the American government cranked up the propaganda machine to WELCOME immigrants with a Sunday afternoon radio program from the INS called I’m An American. Sara Laskow reports for NPR’s All Things Considered. Here’s the show with immigration posterboy and refugee from the Nazis Albert Einstein:

[Mas…]

N.J. teacher says ‘Speak American’; Students say: ‘Adios!’ (video)

by Especial Correspondents October 17, 2017 Cultura
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Students walked out of class after an ignorant high school teacher in New Jersey told a Latina student to “speak American” last week.

[Mas…]

Christopher Columbus Was A Murderous Moron (video)

by Especial Correspondents October 9, 2017 Cultura
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Turns out Christopher Columbus wasn’t brave, he was just really bad at math. Adam Ruins Everything explains.

[Mas…]

60 Years Ago Today: President sends Army to enforce Civil Rights (video)

by Especial Correspondents September 25, 2017 Cultura
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On this Day in History, 1957, President Dwight D. Eisenhower sent the U. S. Army’s 101st Airborne Division to ensure that black kids weren’t denied access to “white” Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas. As an extra ironic bonus, here’s a photo of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., taking the knee in […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho worst new names for Hispanic Heritage Month

by Especial Correspondents September 15, 2017 Cultura
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The pinche Trump administration is stuck with the annual observance of National “Hispanic” Heritage Month 2017, which begins today, but that doesn’t mean they like it. The POCHO news team has learned that the white wing traitors, crooks, and colluders at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue ran through a list of alternative names for the observance before […]

[Mas…]

Bed, Bath and Taco Trucks? And they appear to be on sale!

by Especial Correspondents September 14, 2017 Cultura
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Spotted and photographed in the wild by Guatemalan-American Facebook friend Carolina E. Barillas, so don’t know if they are discontinued, on sale, or destined to be ON EVERY CORNER. In the Bed, Bath online store, they come with gummy worm straws and “chopsticks” (!) for $23.99: We are like, “OK, sure but hold the worms.”

[Mas…]

Evangelical Latino Trump backer repents, seeks God’s forgiveness

by AARON SANCHEZ September 11, 2017 El Now

(PNS reporting from TIO TACO, TENNESSEE) Jorge Fregado, executive director of the Hispanic Evangelical Legislative League (HELL), no longer supports the Trump Administration, he told friends here over the weekend. Fregado (photo) — who hosted a party in Washington, D.C. over the night before the Inauguration — said he was disappointed by the GOP leader’s […]

[Mas…]

The Kate Spade ‘Taco Truck Purse’ is a Latino cultural barometer

by BERNADETTE RIVERO September 7, 2017 Cultura
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A Guide To Understanding The Differences Between Different Kinds Of Latinos, As Manifested By Responses T O   T H I S Kate Spade Taco Truck Purse ($251) · Mexican: Ay, no. · Mexican-American: Hell. No. · Latinx: That’s cultural appropriation. · Tex Mex: OMG I WANT THIS PURSE!!!!!!

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho Top Facts NOT in Ad Age’s New 2017 Hispanic Fact Pack

by BERNADETTE RIVERO August 30, 2017 Cultura

Trade publication Advertising Age’s new Hispanic Fact Pack has hit the Interwebs, revealing tantalizing details about the “Hispanic market” which means you. And it’s packed, por supuesto, with facts:

[Mas…]

Make America Truck Again – in Spanglish! (photo)

by Especial Correspondents August 21, 2017 Cultura
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Looks legit and it’s good advice, too. No passing on the right! [Stolen from REDDIT.]

[Mas…]

Kids cross Mexican border every day for school in USA (video)

by Especial Correspondents August 11, 2017 Cultura
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These kids — American citizens — live in Mexico but go to school in Columbus, New Mexico, a town of 1,800 across the frontier from their home in Palomas, Mexico. Some Columbus residents support the decades-long arrangement; others, not so much. [Video by Larry Lazo and Alex Brauer.]

[Mas…]

#TBT Throwback Thursday: Bert the Turtle stars in ‘Duck and Cover’

by HERO ZIMA August 10, 2017 Cartoons
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Hey, you pochos who are not Baby Boomers: Come with us now to the thrilling days of yesteryear (1951) when Americans worried about a nuclear attack from an evil Commie dictator across the sea. Good times!

[Mas…]

Watch out, Geico! Here comes El Martillo Tejano (video)

by LAURA MARTINEZ August 4, 2017 Cultura
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Who cares if switching to Geico can save you 15 percent or more on car insurance? If I were to have a car — or live in Texas — (both very unlikely scenarios) I’d totally call Jim Adler, aka El Martillo Tejano, who promises to protect my people (i.e. The Hispanics) from sleazy insurance companies […]

[Mas…]