I’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha.
Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day.
M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his daddy are divorce because his daddy like to stick his weene ebrywhere.
M’ijo usually checks my espelling but oh gwell. Since I have a little gwhile, I give you the recipe for Aphrodisiac Salsa. [Mas…]
Hola. Is Tia Lencha here.
Ju want to give presens to eberyone on your Chrismas list or Chanukah or Kwanzaa or Reyes Magos or Chinese Year but ju are short on dinero? No worry! Tia Lencha is going to give ju recipe for to make the oven roast red salsa!
Is nice! Is a good gift for the peoples! And is easy! No like making mole for Turkey Day.
I make this salsa to give to my comadres and the lob it. They have little hearts in their eyes when they see my salsa. They eat with almost eberything. They say they fight their childrens and viejos to eat the last drops of it in the jar. Is that good. Oso, it don’t matter if the peoples are no Mexican. The peoples at my job are no Mexican and they ask me for the salsa. [Mas…]
Happy Mexican Thanksgiving Day!
Is Tia Lencha here. Gwhat is Mexican Thanksgiving Day you ask? Is Thanksgiving but with all Mexican food. What?!?! My gringo frends say. Oh no! How you can do that! Is crazy! And Tia Lencha say, no really.
When I help mijo with his homeworks, I learn that Thanksgiving come from a Puritan holiday in Englands. When it was the Reformation the Protestantes wanted to throw away all the Catholic holidays, even Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny! [Mas…]
I say there are racists, or Marxists, or Russia-level fascists
An orange glo-worm that hashes and dashes.
“Hey Beaner,” said the weiner, “go back to Mexico!”
Three gueros in a car. I yell back at the guero,
“Oh yeah? Thas not bery far.”
And the white people say, there’s no racists, or Marxists,
Or Russia level fascists, no orange colored glo-worm
That hashes and dashes [Mas…]
Hola! Is Tia Lencha here! I haf big news! I move to Los Angeles in the California! And I find a novio! Can ju believe?
Is a new life here. My novio and I met on the Google when I live in New Jork. Then he visit from Los Angeles and I visit from New Jork and now I live in Los Angeles. He make me micheladas and likes walking romatical to the taco trucks. Tia Lencha has little hearts in her eyes.
Okay, but I can’t leave my pochos without some advice. One pocho ask me, how ju build an altar for Día de los Muertos? I tell ju how!
I make an altar for my old life with mijo’s daddy in New Jork as a sample, okey?
We make Mijo’s Daddy Day of the Dead altar: [Mas…]
Happy Day of the Dead! Is Tia Lencha here. Many people ask me questions about Dia de Los Muertos. I answer the questions today.
Question numero one: Tia Lencha wass this Dia de los Muertos? Is it the Mexican Halloween?
Gwell, kind of, I say. Except that the Day of the Dead celebrations come from the indigenous pagan rituals that trace back 2,500 to 3,000 years ago. Way before Duane Reade sold Halloween candy.
Question numero two: Tia Lencha, wassup with the calaveras (“skulls” for you pochos)?
Bueno, before Jesus came along, people used to keep skulls of their loved ones (and maybe not so loved ones) as trophies. They showed off the skulls during the rituals as symbols of death and rebirth. Kind of heavy, no? I never say my history was all tequila shots and tacos.
Also, calaveras can be short poems, like epitaphs like to mock your friends. Like you can make fun of them on their tombstones. Like for mijo’s daddy, I wrote a calavera about him call “Oscar Meyer” because he like to stick his weenie ebrywhere! He no think it was so funny. [Mas…]