Father and Son Chile-Eating Contest: Quién es más macho? The East Pocho Optimists Club once again sets up shop at Fernando Valenzuela Field for their annual chile-eating contest, which pits father-son teams against each other to see who can ascend the Picante Podium of Pain. The winning team wins even more chiles! Sunday, noon.
Bronche: Angry Bull cocktails (Red Bull, tequila, orange juice) are just $3 and dads get all the Mexican Meatloaf Sliders they want for free on Father’s Day at TGI Viernes in the Rancho Pocho Mall. Sunday 10 AM – 2 PM. Mention my name, Chale Knickerbocker, for a blank stare. [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from PALOS VERDES, CA) Beloved aquatic family member Goldie Han Solo was remembered for her cheerful demeanor and active lifestyle at a tearful funeral ceremony in the Solo family’s back yard here Tuesday.
Goldie, believed to be four years old (photo), apparently died of asphyxiation and/or dehydration after she leaped from her fishbowl Monday night around 11:37 PM. That’s when a small earthquake (3.5 Richter) shook this suburban Los Angeles community, according to the U.S. Geological Service.
Her teeny, shiny body was discovered on the floor of Reyna Solo’s bedroom at 7 AM Tuesday by family member Gilda Solis-Chihuahua Solo, who awakened 8-year-old Reyna with loud whimpering and assertive licking. Reyna and Gilda, a Canine-American, had both slept through the temblor; Goldie, not so much.
Reyna attempted mouth-to-mouth resuscitation but Goldie was already stiff and dry, swimming in that fish pond in the sky. [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Ruben Covarrubias (photo) astounded family and friends here Sunday night when he admitted that the history of Cinco de Mayo didn’t concern him and he’d always thought “May 5 was Mexican Independence Day, so like so what?!”
“I don’t care what it’s about, yo!” he told everyone within earshot of the backyard grill. “I just always celebrated it with MEChA and at school. Partay!” [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from the EEUU) Tex-Mex restaurants across the country are banding together this week to ensure the flawed traditions of margaritas, sombreros, maracas, bastardized Mexican food and overall cultural cluelessness are again propagated upon masses of uninformed Americans this Cinco De Mayo. [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) Top officials in the Intelligence Community have confirmed to PNS that the shocking video just released by the whistleblowers at HowToProunce.org — How to Pronounce “Taco” — is totally legit and is only the first of many shockers to come. Check back here for further developments as we follow up on this breaking story.
PREVIOUSLY ON HOW TO PRONOUNCE: [Mas…]
(PNS reporting from HUNTINGTON BEACH) Area sales manager Rick Miller is happy to share his new-found Spanish vocabulary with co-workers, buds from the office disclosed Tuesday.
Miller (photo), who explained that he went to a barbecue Sunday over at his new Mexican-American neighbors’ house, informed early arrivals at yesterday’s quarterly sales meeting that a limon is actually what we call a lime in English, and lemons are limas in Spanish. [Mas…]
