Pocho Ñews Service

cucahhmsadbloguera(PNS reporting from BROOKLYN) Hispanic Heritage Month is ending, and without the corporate-approved celebration as a focus, local members of the Hispanic/Latino community here aren’t really sure how they can go on being local members of the local Hispanic/Latino community here.

“What now?” lamented Brooklyn native and prolific bloguera Marielena Gutierrez (photo)

“Should I tell people to call me Mary Ellen for the remaining 11 months of the year? It’s not like they ever pronounce it right anyway,” she wrote on her PobrePickle blog. [Mas…]

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fathersdaychurchsignFather and Son Chile-Eating Contest: Quién es más macho? The East Pocho Optimists Club once again sets up shop at Fernando Valenzuela Field for their annual chile-eating contest, which pits father-son teams against each other to see who can ascend the Picante Podium of Pain. The winning team wins even more chiles! Sunday, noon.

Bronche: Angry Bull cocktails (Red Bull, tequila, orange juice) are just $3 and dads get all the Mexican Meatloaf Sliders they want for free on Father’s Day at TGI Viernes in the Rancho Pocho Mall. Sunday 10 AM – 2 PM. Mention my name, Chale Knickerbocker, for a blank stare. [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) A reeking appartition dressed in the decaying uniform of a Spanish Conquistador was sighted around Mexico City last week, and boy, was he pissed!

The shrieking ghost was seen haunting the Mexico City site of a 1720 battle where the indigenous Mexica Empire defeated the Spanish.

Area man Pito Perez, who reported the ghost to PNS, said it first he thought the goblin might be La Llorona, or pero his drunk Uncle Abelardo, the mariachi, but no. [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from MAGA-LAGO) President Dotard Trump today blasted international movie star Chewbacca and Democratic presidential wannabe Beto O’Rourke as fakes. [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) America will pause Monday to remember the life and message of Dr. Ricky Martin Luther King, Jr., whose Tengo a Dream y Dance! speech changed the nation forever.

Post offices and other public facilities not already closed by the shutdown will be shuttered, banks and stock exchanges are taking the day off and salsa picante and sweet potato pie – his favorite snack combo – will go on sale all across America. Monday’s holiday honors RMLK’s 41st birthday. [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from CENTURY CITY) The area “villain” of a viral video — she was filmed transferring some delicious hot coffee to a Latino contractor at a condo complex here — has denied being a racist. [Mas…]

Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do over the July 4 break

by CHALE KNICKERBOCKER, SOCIETY EDITOR July 3, 2018 Cultura

FIREWORKS: Mission Pocho Viejo American Legion Post 536 once again presents their Annual Fireworks Extravagonzo tomorrow at sunset. This year the pyrotechnics come from Los Light & Loafers Sparklistas with their presentation Rainbows of Love. Watch out for the confetti and glitter bombs! Moms: Bring your blankets and sit the kids on the grass at Sotomayor Stadium. […]

[Mas…]

Around Our Town: Puro Party Picks for Father’s Day Weekend 2018

by CHALE KNICKERBOCKER, SOCIETY EDITOR June 15, 2018 Cultura
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Father and Son Chile-Eating Contest: Quién es más macho? The East Pocho Optimists Club once again sets up shop at Fernando Valenzuela Field for their annual chile-eating contest, which pits father-son teams against each other to see who can ascend the Picante Podium of Pain. The winning team wins even more chiles! Sunday, noon. Bronche: […]

[Mas…]

In Puebla, MX, 500 dead as narco cartel killers crush French gangsters

by Comic Saenz May 4, 2018 El Now
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(PNS reporting from PUEBLA, MX) Federales have finished cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead, PNS has learned. The  Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika […]

[Mas…]

Couple dies during skydive gender reveal (SPOILER: It’s a boy!)

by El Pejibaye Staff April 19, 2018 El Now
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(PNS reporting from URRIALBA) Randy and Candy Wiggins (photo) plunged to their deaths Tuesday afternoon when the couple’s parachute failed to deploy during a skydive that was intended to reveal the gender of their child to be. The Billings, Montana couple traveled to Costa Rica this week to leap from 12,000 feet above this rural […]

[Mas…]

Mexico dumps futbol, switches to curling after sad Club America loss

by EL PEJIBAYE STAFF April 12, 2018 El Now
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(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY)  Mexico is throwing in the towel — and picking up a broom — after Club America’s humiliating defeat to Toronto FC in the CONCACAF Champions League semi-final Tuesday night.  The loss signaled the death of the country’s storied soccer tradition. After the 4-2 aggregate defeat, club officials for the Mexico […]

[Mas…]

Reports: NAFTA negotiations extended until end of time

by EL PEJIBAYE STAFF April 11, 2018 El Now
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) NAFTA negotiations between the U.S., Canada and Mexico will likely only conclude when mankind ceases to exist or if extraterrestrial raids breed unity among humans that leads to the dissolution of international borders, according to two sources with direct knowledge of the trilateral talks.

[Mas…]

Mex Prez candidate AMLO says luchadores will protect U.S. border

by EL PEJIBAYE STAFF April 5, 2018 El Now

(PNS reporting from NOGALES) Mexico Presidential front-runner Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador (AMLO) will deploy the country’s finest and fiercest lucha libre fighters to the northern border should U.S. President Donald Trump carry out his pledge to militarize the nations’ shared international boundary, the candidate known as AMLO said in a press conference on Wednesday.

[Mas…]

Costa Rican host family evicts gringo for flushing toilet paper

by El Pejibaye Staff April 4, 2018 El Now
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(PNS reporting from SAN PEDRO, COSTA RICA) Study abroad student Caleb Kostopoulos was kicked out of his temporary home in the Costa Rican capital of San José last night when his host family discovered he’d flushed toilet paper down the commode instead of putting it in the bathroom trashcan as instructed, the 20-year old Temple […]

[Mas…]

Around Our Town on St. Paddy’s Weekend: Where to go, what to do

by CHALE KNICKERBOCKER, SOCIETY EDITOR March 16, 2018 Cultura
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LUCK OF THE IRISH: Look for a pot o’ gold at the end of the rainbow all weekend long at Gustavo O’Grady’s Bar y Grill on East Olmos Boulevard. The popular hangout will serve corned beef tacos, potato-stuffed chiles rellenos and beer-marinated enchilada irlanda sliders at $1 each during Happy Hour. Happy Hour, you lucky […]

[Mas…]

Mexico ruling party promises to rig 2018 presidential elections

by El Pejibae Staff January 18, 2018 El Now
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Cheating historically proven as best strategy to win, PRI President says (PNS reporting from MEXICO) Members of Mexico’s PRI took to the streets this weekend to reassure supporters that, if a victory in the 2018 presidential elections is ever in doubt, the power-drunk party will revert to its most tried-and-true success tactic: Shameless electoral fraud.

[Mas…]

Tico man fed up with being called ‘Chino’ by everyone

by El PEJIBAYE STAFF January 8, 2018 El Now
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Most friends don’t even know his real name, which is Ken (PNS reporting from BELÉN, COSTA RICA) A local Costa Rican man born to Taiwanese immigrants is threatening to pack up and move to Taiwan though he’s never actually been there before. Ken Chu, 28, who was born in Belén to Taiwanese immigrants, says his […]

[Mas…]

Mexico’s Rafa Marquez quits pro soccer, wants to be drug lord

by EL PEJIBAYE STAFF November 7, 2017 Cultura
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(PNS reporting from GUADALAJARA) Mexican national team defender Rafael Marquez announced his retirement from fútbol today, telling a press conference he is ready to commit more time to his budding drug-trafficking career and scaling the hierarchy of the Sinaloa and/or Jalisco New Generation drug cartels.

[Mas…]

STIX NIX HICKS PICKS (#WBW Way Back Wednesday POCHO.com 1999)

by Hedda Hip-Hopper, NO VARIETY STYLE COLUMNIST October 11, 2017 Cultura

(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Latino media crix nix the new prime-time fall tele sked in latest minority tubthump, claiming the nets are ignoring a whammo part of the aud by nixing topline talent of color. They also accuse not only webs, but percenteries, individual percenters, reps, prexies and veeps for the lack of color in […]

[Mas…]

Evangelical Latino Trump backer repents, seeks God’s forgiveness

by AARON SANCHEZ September 11, 2017 El Now

(PNS reporting from TIO TACO, TENNESSEE) Jorge Fregado, executive director of the Hispanic Evangelical Legislative League (HELL), no longer supports the Trump Administration, he told friends here over the weekend. Fregado (photo) — who hosted a party in Washington, D.C. over the night before the Inauguration — said he was disappointed by the GOP leader’s […]

[Mas…]

Castro defends ‘Blue Rubber Band Man’ as July 4 parade marshall

by Comic Saenz July 4, 2017 El Now
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(PNS reporting from VISALIA, CA) Outgoing Visalia Chamber of Commerce president Adrianna Castro stands behind the selection of her brother, area broccoli farmer and businessman Eddie Reyes, as Grand Marshall for this year’s annual July 4th parade. “Eddie is not only an outstanding, civic-mind citizen,” she told PNS early this morning, “but his blue broccoli rubber […]

[Mas…]

Around Our Town: Puro Party Picks for Father’s Day Weekend 2017

by CHALE KNICKERBOCKER, SOCIETY EDITOR June 16, 2017 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Around Our Town: Puro Party Picks for Father’s Day Weekend 2017

Father and Son Chile-Eating Contest: Quién es más macho? The East Pocho Optimists Club once again sets up shop at Fernando Valenzuela Field for their annual chile-eating contest, which pits father-son teams against each other to see who can ascend the Picante Podium of Pain. The winning team wins even more chiles! Sunday, noon. Bronche: […]

[Mas…]

Goldie Han Solo, 4, eulogized at tearful funeral: ‘She always smiled’

by Comic Saenz May 25, 2017 El Now
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(PNS reporting from PALOS VERDES, CA) Beloved aquatic family member Goldie Han Solo was remembered for her cheerful demeanor and active lifestyle at a tearful funeral ceremony in the Solo family’s back yard here Tuesday. Goldie, believed to be four years old (photo), apparently died of asphyxiation and/or dehydration after she leaped from her fishbowl […]

[Mas…]

East Los man doesn’t care what Cinco de Mayo is all about, yo!

by Comic Saenz May 3, 2017 Cultura
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(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Ruben Covarrubias (photo) astounded family and friends here Sunday night when he admitted that the history of Cinco de Mayo didn’t concern him and he’d always thought “May 5 was Mexican Independence Day, so like so what?!” “I don’t care what it’s about, yo!” he told everyone within earshot of the backyard grill. […]

[Mas…]