Post image for Breaking: TX boy, 9, slays Mexican boogeyman El Cucuy, 521

Breaking: TX boy, 9, slays Mexican boogeyman El Cucuy, 521

by EresNerd on August 14, 2013 in El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

elcucuy(PNS reporting from SEGUIN, TX) A nine-year-old boy killed El Cucuy Tuesday night.

El Cucuy, AKA the Mexican Boogeyman, was pronounced dead at 10:30 PM at the Balli family residence here.  The legendary monster was said to be 521, with a birth date pegged in 1492.

It was a more or less typical evening for the Balli family, according to a Guadalupe County Sheriff’s detective familiar with the case. There was no hint of the trouble to come, he said, “when boy’s parents threatened the perpetrator with El Cucuy if he didn’t brush his teeth before he went to bed.”

The youth, who turned nine July 13, refused, the officer said, so his parents summoned El Cucuy to the modest ranch-style home.

El Cucuy (file photo, above) manifested in the kid’s room around 9:40 PM, according to the investigator, and was killed during a brief firefight by “some type of particle-beam weapon” created by the boy.

The room was “a mess with comic books and plasma everywhere,” he said, and El Cucuy’s remains “looked and smelled like burnt frijoles.”

The unnamed Mexican-American boy is described by neighbors as “un genio” and “scary smart.” He is taking college level courses in the physics of fusion plasma at Rice University.

Guadalupe County Sheriff Celia Salgado:

The boy was transported to Guadalupe Regional Medical Center with minor burns. We are investigating El Cucuy’s death like any other death of a supernatural being.

Salgado said they have designated several items for forensic analysis, including the alleged weapon, “a helmet crafted by the Balli boy with Goku painted on its sides.”

Neighbor Cecilia Hinojosa was upset by El Cucuy’s death. “I feel sad that a vital tool in threatening our children has taken away from us. A chancla can only do so much,” she told PNS.

The sheriff said they have been unable to contact any of El Cucuy’s relatives, although, she noted, they are always on the lookout for chupacabras, and La Llorona is still at large.

RELATED:

El Cucuy photo via Tenacious Toys.

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{ 1 comment }

Don Pocho Loco August 16, 2013 at 1:22 PM

If anyone doubts that a Seguin boy could kill El Cucuy, *this* Seguin boy will whip your ass! I almost had him in 1953, but he slipped away into the night.

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