Five ways to get your tio to stop wearing that stupid pinche ‘fedora’

by Estefania Zavala on October 2, 2015 in Cultura, El Now

tacohatYou roll up to your tio’s carne asada ready to down some truly inhuman amount of your tia’s arroz rojo when suddenly, you realize that your uncle has traded in his authentic sombrero for a weird plaid fedora.

What will you do? WHAT WILL YOU DO?

First of all, don’t be scared. Just choose one or more options from the list below:

  • el brinca brincaToss the fedora into the bouncy house and watch 17 of your little cousins gleefully smash it to death. No one can stop el brinca brinca. No one.

  • guac_hatLine the brim of the hat with guacamole. When questioned by your tio, act natural. “This hat isn’t made out of tortilla chip??”
    Warning: this method may require your eating some of the hat. 

  • Tell him he looks like Jenni Rivera. Ask him if he wants the same brujeria that happened to her to happen to him.

  • Corona_beerKeep giving him Coronas until he starts singing corridos. When he hits the high note on the Vicente Fernandez song, snatch the fedora right off his head. He won’t notice.

  • ManekiNeko_horchata_jarDrown it in the horchata jug! Warning: this will ruin the horchata and you will be so sad and your familia will shun you. Maybe the hat doesn’t look so bad.

  • See here for Taco Hat recipe courtesy of karrotsandpeas. 

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