Happy July 4, fashionistas! May I see your papers, please?

by Yuppie Chicana on July 2, 2012 in Cultura, El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) For fashionistas, this July 4 holiday season is less about parades and barbecues and more about flashing your passport, if you have one.

The new patriotic papers fashion flair follows the Supreme Court’s recent decision to uphold the “show me your papers” provisions of SB1070.

And now everybody wants those papers.

After the SCOTUS decision, the State Department’s passport website experienced the highest volume of traffic since Sarah Palin became the Republican Party’s nominee for Vice President in 2008.

“We’ve seen a sharp increase in just the last few days of people wanting to get passport photos for their kids,” unincorporated East Tucson Walgreens’ manager Chavo Smith told PNS.

Stars like Rosario Dawson and Zoe Saldana have been photographed sporting off-the-shoulder single-strap passport holders instead of their usual designer handbags.

The popular phrase “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” has taken on a new meaning. Gone are the days when proving your dog had papers was a status symbol. Now if you can prove your kids have papers then you’re more American than the Obamas.

On Thursday, Iconic American clothing brand Abercrombie and Fitch announced the launch of a hip new clothing line designed to showcase pockets for keeping passports and birth certificates and even resident alien cards for Hispanic youth in the Southwest and Alabama.

Party City, the American retail chain of party supply stores based in Rockaway Township, NJ, will stock their shelves this Halloween with more fake bigotes, sombreros and Dickies brand clothing to help law enforcement individuals be more efficient at their jobs, according to a spokeswoman.

For Greek life at the University of Arizona, “show me your papers” just might give Hispanic fraternities and sororities that extra edge they’ve been searching for when it comes to competing with their Anglo counterparts during their new recruitment process known as rush.

“This year instead of flashing our tatas, we’re going to encourage our new recruits to flash their papers. It’s out with the old and in with the new,” said Kappa Delta sorority president Bambi Rubalcava aka La Jefa.

How will longtime resident and frequent nighttime visitor La Llorona celebrate this Independence Day?

This Fourth of July I have only one wish, to get pulled over for suspicion of being an illegal immigrant. The only thing I’ve ever been suspected of is child abuse and that was years ago. If border patrol threw me into the back of their truck at least I’d get a date for Saturday night.

Being American isn’t about equality or egalitarianism. It’s about sticking to your gut and following your instincts. Just ask George Zimmerman how it’s worked out for him.

Yuppie Chicana blogs, strangely enough, at YuppieChicana.com.

Pocho Ñews Service PNS is a wholly-fictitious subsidiary of Pochismo, Inc., a California corporation, who is a person according to the Supreme Court. Don’t ask us, we just work here.

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