Take the ‘How to tell if you’re a Chilango’ quiz

by Victor Payan on January 30, 2013 in Cultura

As a result of the ongoing Pocho Revolution, there has been a tremendous increase in the number of people who identify themselves as pochos.

While most are legitimate pochos, there are many who have infiltrated the ranks and are seeking to subvert the ideals of Pochismo.

We’re not talking about the CIA, the FBI or even the dread Victory Outreach. The threat to Pochismo comes in the form of the nefarious Chilangos, the denizens of Mexico City who stormed into the heart of Aztlan through LAX to take over Chicanismo and are now moving deep into Pocholandia.

The indoctrinization of the Chilango is so subtle that you may already be a Chilango and not even know it. If you suspect that you or someone you know is a Chilango, here is a simple quiz to find out for sure. If you answer “c” or “si” to most of the questions, chances are you are a Chilango.

Take the quiz!

525 is:

a) A style of Levi’s
b) The telephone prefix they use in movies
c) The Mexico City area code

La Reforma is:

a) The school your brother went to after getting thrown out of Garfield
b) What they’re calling the latest Menudo reunion tour
c) A popular avenue in Mexico City

UNAM is:

a) A Chicana student organization
b) A university in Vietnam
c) A prominent Mexico City university

“El Popo” is:

a) A small bilingual rodent with his own tv show
b) A part of the male anatomy
c) The semi-active volcano Popocatepetl

Your goal in life is to :

a) Cure cancer
b) Fight racism through education and political empowerment
c) Change the world through performance art

“Rasquache” means:

a) A large, elusive primate of the Pacific Northwest
b) Part raspado, part liquado, part capuccino
c) Never having to say you’re sorry

“Naco” refers to:

a) The new half-nacho/half-taco at Taco Bell
b) A cold, heartless drug dealer
c) Your uncle who still listens to Gloria Trevi 8-tracks

“Padre” is a word that best describes:

a) A priest
b) Baseball superstar Tony Gwynn
c) The latest Alejandra Guzman album

Your friends refer to you as:

a) Pinche Güey
b) Pinche Mamon
c) Pinche Alex Lora
d) All of the above

The Mexican National Anthem is:

a) Volver Volver
b) Anything by Vicente Fernandez
c) Annoying, unintelligible and too long

“Mexican food” is:

a) A carnitas burrito
b) A Dorito Taco Loco with mild sauce
c) The turkey sandwich at Sanborns

Alfonso Arau is:

a) A kind of fettuccine with clam sauce
b) The director of “Like Water for Chocolate”
c) Your father

“El Otro Lado” refers to:

a) The United States
b) The EE.UU.
c) A night in La Zona Rosa

Subcomandante Marcos is:

a) The Zapatista rebel leader
b) A colorful Hispanic character on the new Love Boat
c) “A todo dar”

You celebrate 16 de septiembre by:

a) Getting drunk in Echo Park
b) Getting drunk at TGI Fridays
c) Standing in a plaza with 100,000 of your closest friends and listening to speeches

When leaving “La Capital,” you get teary-eyed because of:

a) Homesickness
b) Morning sickness
c) The smog

You smoke cigarettes because of:

a) The taste
b) The nicotine
c) The filter

If you have administered this quiz and uncovered the tell-tale signs of being a chilango, there is nothing you can do. There is no cure. The only consolation you have is hoping that you or your loved one is not also a fresa.

 

{ 4 comments }

Chilangolandia February 1, 2013 at 12:27 PM

This is too funny. No mames!

Metro Balderas February 2, 2013 at 11:09 AM

Super chido!

José-Ariel Cuevas February 4, 2013 at 10:08 PM

¿Cuantas camisetas de El Tri tienes? That would be a rhetorical question because the average Chilango has six El Tri t-shirts.

dyana ortelli February 4, 2013 at 10:48 PM

no manches, guey! o sea, no? a todo dar! (: ja ja ja!!!

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