Post image for Breaking: Hundreds expected Friday at Mexico’s Xochitl Games

Breaking: Hundreds expected Friday at Mexico’s Xochitl Games

by Especial Correspondents on February 6, 2014 in El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

xochitlgames(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Hundreds of competitors and an equal number of spectators are expected for the opening of the first Xochitl Games here tomorrow.

The so-called “Indigenous Olympics,” organized by the Nahuatl Athletic Council Organization (NACO), hopes to share some of the buzz from the regular Winter Olympics, in Sochi.

NACO is especially counting on people who are unsure how to spell the name of the Black Sea resort city in the Google search window, or even better, can’t spell when booking airplane and hotel reservations through Travelocity.

NACO’s ambitious plans for the games include drinkable fresh water in hotels, public bathroom facilities with stalls that have doors that can be closed and a Millennial mascot, Aztec snowboarder Xochi (photo.)

mayanheartEager amateur athletes from all across Mexico will be competing in traditional sports at the redeveloped capital city’s new Fernando Valenzuela Stadium.

Xochi Games insiders say spectators should look for exciting competition in the Chalupa Races, the Cheap Silver Necklace Toss, the Raza Relay, and the Desperate High Jump  Over the Sacrificial Pyramid of Death.

Traditional costumes are required for athletes competing in Matachines Slalom, Mayan Calendar Rolling and Chihuahua Juggling (photo.)

The highlight of the Games is expected to be the Pin the Tail on the Angry Burro ordeal.

Officials confirmed for PNS that the burros were professionally angrified by cactus-spine-wielding burro whisperers from the Knights Templar Athletic Club, said to be the nexus of the anger movement in the neighboring state of Michoacan.

NACO is one of the new civic organizations lured to Guanajuato by Gov. Alejandro Ramirez Sanchez de Bernstein, as he works to broaden the region’s economy. Until recently, the area was dependent on the sale of Guanajuato’s primary exports, guano and juato.

Eres Nerd, Lalo Alcaraz, Comic Saenz and Maria Purisima contributed to this report. Based on a news tip from The Omar Ponce.

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

 

 

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