Traditional GOP caucus ritual marks Iowanian New Year

by Barney Asada on January 3, 2012 in Cultura, El Now, Las Fotos, Pocho Ñews Service

Don D. S. Waldo, 24, is a medical student: "Mitt Romney seems to have cornered the Just for Men contingent, but the Tres Flores activists are still up for grabs."

(PNS reporting from THE HEARTLAND, USA) Thousands of Iowanians are fighting their way across the wind-blown plains today to perform the traditional Republican caucus ritual.  Sioux City City College PoliSci Professor Rico Alvarado explains the Ceremony of the Caucus this way:

First, the gabachos make a 4WD posada to the high school gym for the ritual gathering. There, by standing and waving, they compete for a majority of the donuts and coffee. The Caucus Ceremony must end before the Big Tornado Siren heralds the start of the Iowanian New Year.  

We photographed six citizens and asked them to evaluate the political process and the contenders. Here they are and here’s what they said:

Arturo Bettendorf, 48, is a certified trantric shepherd from the Quad Cities area: "I am worried about Bachmann's birth certificate. What color is the sky on her home planet?"

Maníla Envelopé, 42, is a Realtor in Sioux City: "Newt Gingrich has the panza of a patron and the discreción of a douchebag."

Valerie Hooptie, 32, is a homemaker in suburban Springfield: "Where is that Herman Cain? I want my 40 pizzas and a mule!"

Don D. S. Waldo, 24, is a medical student: "Mitt Romney seems to have cornered the Just for Men contingent, but the Tres Flores activists are still up for grabs."

Juan Q. Public, 51, unemployed musical instrument sales manager, right here in River City: "I'm banging my head against the wall here and Ron Paul won't intervene!"

Sylvia's Mother, 39, Cedar Rapids museum docent: "I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so"

Pocho Ñews Service PNS is a wholly-fictitious subsidiary of the Pocho Corporation, who is a person according to the Supreme Court.  Don’t ask us, we just work here.

Photo credits: Iceman, white hair, knit hat, hat, head wall, bench sit

Who will come out on top after today’s shenanigans?

{ 1 comment }

leQ January 3, 2012 at 4:49 PM

couldn’t leave it blank.

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