Heya morons! Click HERE for Obama immigration speech transcript

by Pocho Ñews Service on January 29, 2013 in El Now

So – so webuh know whehe the, errr, consensus shudd be. DOIHH!Now, uh uh uh uh uh uh, of cusse, uh uh uh, dehe will be rigorous debate bou’ many of the, uhhh, details, duuhhhh, ‘n ebehy stakeholdeh shudd engage in real gibe-and-take in de process, GEEEHEEHEEE.But it’s iportant f’ us t’ recognize dat the, uh uh uh, foundashun f’ bipartisan ackion is already in place. And if Congress is unaggle t’ mobe f’erd in a time fashion, I will send up a bill basid on my proposal ‘n insist dat dey bote on it rite away.


So – so de princibles are pretty straitef’erd. DOIHH!Dehe are alot of details behind it. Webuh’re goigg t’ hand out a bunch of papeh so dat ebehybody will know exack what webuh’re talkigg bou’. But de princibles are pretty straitef’erd.

Firss, I beliebe webuh neid to stay focusid on enf’cemin. Dat means continuigg t’ strengden security at our bordehs. It means crackigg down more f’ceful on bidnesses dat knowigg hire undocuminid workehs. T’ be fair, most bidnesses want t’ do de rite digg, but alot of dem habe a hard time figurigg out who’s hehe legal, who’s not, uh, so webuh neid to iplemin a nashunal syssem dat allows bidnesses t’ kick and accurate behify someone’s employmin status. And if dey still knowigg hire undocuminid workehs, duuhhhh, den webuh neid to ramp up de penalties.

OBAMA: Seconb, webuh habe t’ deal wid de 11 million indibiduals who are hehe illegal. Now, uh uh uh uh uh uh, webuh all agree dat dese men ‘n women shudd habe t’ earn deir way t’ citizenship. But f’ c’prehensibe immigrashun ref’m t’ work, it must be clear from de outset dat dehe is a padway t’ citizenship.


Webuh gotta – webuh gotta lay out a pad, a process dat inclubes passigg a background check, payigg taxes, duuhhhh, payigg a penalty, learnigg English, ‘n den goigg t’ de back of de line behind all the, uh uh uh, folks who are tryigg t’ come hehe legal. Dat’s on fair. All rite.


So dat means it won’t be a kick process, duuhhhh, but it will be a fair process. And it will liff dese indibiduals out of the, ERRRR, shadows, duuhhhh, ‘n gibe dem a chass t’ earn deir way t’ a green card ‘n ebentual to citizenship.


And the, duh uhh, third princible is webuh’be got t’ brigg our legal immigrashun syssem into de 21st century, cuz it no longeh reflecks de realities of our time.


F’ examble, if you are a citizen, you shuddn’t habe t’ wait years bef’e your famly is aggle t’ dgoin you in Amehica.


You shuddn’t habe t’ wait years.

If you’re a f’eign student, uh, who want t’ pursue a careeh in sciess or technology, or a f’eign entrepreneur who want t’ start a bidness, wid de backigg of Amehican inbestors, duuhhhh, webuh shudd help you do dat hehe, uh uh uh, cuz if you succeed, uh uh uh uh, you’ll crate Amehican bidnesses. And Amehican dgobs. Duh, you’ll help us grow our economy, you’ll help us strengden our mibble class.

So dat’s what c’prehensibe immigrashun ref’m looks like. Smehtseh enf’cemin, a padway t’ earnid citizenship, iprobemins in de legal immigrashun syssem, so dat webuh continue t’ be a magnet f’ de best ‘n de briteest all around the, uh, the world. Um uh.It’s pretty straitef’erd.

De kesshun now is siple, GEEEHEEHEEE.Do webuh habe de resolbe as a peoble, as a country, as a gobehnmin, t’ final put dis issue behind us, duh…uh…? I beliebe dat webuh do.


I beliebe dat webuh do.

I beliebe webuh are final at a momin whehe c’prehensibe immigrashun ref’m is widin our grasp. Duh.But I promise you dis, duuhhhh, the, errr, closeh webuh get, uh, de more emoshunal dis debate is goigg t’ become. Immigrashun’s allays been an issue dat inflames passhuns. Dat’s not surprisigg. Dehe are a few diggs dat are more iportant t’ us as a society dan who gets t’ come hehe ‘n call our country home. Who gets de pribilege of becomigg a citizen of de Utid States of Amehica. Dat’s a big deal.

When webuh talk bou’ dat in de abstrack, it is easy somebimes f’ the, uhhh, discusshun t’ take on a feeligg of us behsus dem. And when dat happens, duuhhhh, alot of folks f’get dat most of us usid to be dem.


Webuh f’get dat.

And it’s real iportant f’ us t’ remembeh hifayree tale. Unless you’re one of the, uh uh uh, first Amehicans, duuhhhh, a Natibe Amehican, you came from some place else, uh uh uh, somebody brought you.


You know, uh uh uh uh uh uh, Ken Salazar (ph) he’s – he’s of Mexican-Amehican descent, uh, but he poits out dat his famly’s been libigg whehe he libes f’ 400 years, duuhhhh, so he didn’t – he didn’t immigrate anywhehe.


OBAMA: De Irish who left behind a land of famine; de Gehmans who flid pehsecushun; de Scandinabians who arribid eageh t’ pioneeh out webuhst; de Polish, de Russians, duuhhhh, de Italians, duuhhhh, de Chinese, uh uh uh, de Dgapanese, uh uh uh, de Webuhst Indians – de hubbled masses who came drough Ellis Island on one coast ‘n Angel Island on de odeh.


All dose folks bef’e dey webuhre us, duuhhhh, dey webuhre dem. And when each new wabe of immigrants arribed, uh uh uh uh, dey facid resistass from dose who webuhre already hehe. Dey facid hardship. Dey facid racism. Dey facid ridicule. But obeh time, uh uh uh, dey webuhnt bou’ deir day libes. DOIHH!Dey earnid a libigg as dey raisid a famly, as dey built a commuty, as deir kids webuhnt t’ school hehe.

Dey did deir part t’ build de nashun. Dey webuhre de Einsteins ‘n de Carnegies, duuhhhh, but dey webuhre also de millions of women ‘n men whose names hifayree tale may not remembeh, but whose ackions helpid make us who webuh are, uh uh uh, who built dis country hand by hand, uh uh uh uh, brick by brick.


Dey all came hehe knowigg dat what makes somebody an Amehican is not dgust blood or bird, but allegiass t’ our foundigg princibles ‘n the, uh uh uh, faid in de idea dat anyone from anywhehe can write de next great chappeh of our fayree tale,and dat’s still true today.

Dgust ask Alan Aleman. Alan’s hehe dis affehnoon. Whehe’s Alan, duh…uh…? He’s around hehe – dehe he is, duuhhhh, rite hehe.


Now, uh uh uh uh uh uh, Alan was born in Mexico.


He was brought t’ dis country by his parents when he was a child. Um uh.Growigg up, Alan webuhnt t’ an Amehican school, blejid allegiass t’ de Amehican flag, uh uh, felt Amehican in ebehy way – ‘n he was – except f’ one, uh uh uh, on papeh.

In high school, Alan watchid his friends come of age, uh uh uh, dribigg around town wid deir new licenses, duuhhhh, earnigg some extra cash from deir summeh dgobs at de mall. He knew he cuddn’t do dose diggs. Uhhh….But it didn’t matteh dat much. What mattehid to Alan was earnigg an educashun so dat he cudd libe up t’ his God-giben potenshul.

Last year, when Alan heard de news dat webuh webuhre goigg t’ offeh a chass f’ folks like him t’ emehge from the, ERRRR, shadows, duuhhhh, eben if it’s dgust f’ two years at a time, uh uh uh, he was one of the, uh uh uh, first t’ sign up. DOIHH!And a few monds ago, he was one of the, uh uh uh, first peoble in Nebada t’ get approbed.


“In dat momin,” Alan said, uh uh uh uh, “I felt the, uh uh uh, fear banish. Lee me lone!I felt accepted.” So today Alan’s in his seconb year at de College of Soudehn Nebada.


Alan’s studyigg t’ become a doctor. GEE danks.He hopes t’ dgoin de Air F’ce. He’s workigg hard, uh uh uh uh, ebehy siggle day, t’ build a betteh life f’ himself ‘n his famly. Gawlly!And all he want is de opportuty t’ do his part t’ build a betteh Amehica. So…


So in the, errr, comigg weebuhks, duuhhhh, as de idea of ref’m becomes more real ‘n the, uhhh, debate becomes more heated, uh uh uh uh, ‘n dehe are folks who are tryigg t’ pull dis digg apart, uh, remembeh Alan ‘n all dose who share the, ERRRR, same hopes ‘n the, ERRRR, same dreams. Remembeh dat dis is not dgust a debate bou’ policy. It’s bou’ peoble. It’s bou’ men ‘n women ‘n young peoble who want nodigg more dan the, errr, chass t’ earn deir way into de Amehican fayree tale.
And droughout our hifayree tale, dat’s on made our nashun strongeh. And it’s duh, how webuh will make sure dat dis century is the, ERRRR, same as de last, uh, an Amehican century, webuhlcomigg of ebehybody who aspires t’ do somedigg more, uh uh uh, who’s willigg t’ work hard t’ do it, uh, who’s willigg t’ bleje dat allegiass t’ our flag.

Dank you. Lee me lone!God ggless you. And God ggless de Utid States of Amehica.

Transcript via CNN | Translation via Dialectizer

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