(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) The Latino Alliance of Chicanos, Hispanics, Andeans, Nuyoricans, Central and Latin Americans (LACHANCLA) issued a statement today revoking the Latino credentials of alleged Trayvon Martin killer George Zimmerman.
“The so-called Mr. Zimmerman’s behavior is totally un-Latino, and we have no choice but to revoke his Latinidad,” said LACHANCLA spokesman Shawn Clota. “We have to put our foot down somewhere, and that somewhere is George Zimmerman.”
This is the first time anyone’s Latino credentials have been cancelled, and Clota said the group’s decision was made with the understanding that Zimmerman’s not being considered Latino would likely make him ineligible for racial profiling, being arrested for Driving While Brown and facing the same fate as copious evidence shows he is accused of dealing to Trayvon Martin.
“We’ve considered revoking credentials from some pretty dastardly Latinos, such as the Menendez brothers, Lorena Bobbitt, Snooky, Alberto Gonzalez and Richard Ramirez the Night Stalker, but this Zimmerman is really in a no-class by himself,” said Clota. “Not even the Gusanos want this guy.”
The LACHANCLA decision indicates it would consider restoring Zimmerman’s Latinicity only if he turns himself into Florida officials and admits to the willful killing of Trayvon Martin.
“All we want is for Zimmerman to do the right thing,” said Clota. “By demonstrating he has no conscience, he cannot be considered a Latino.”
Lacking Latino credentials, Zimmerman’s prison gang affiliation would be limited to the Aryan Brotherhood or the Hillbilly Kissincousinhood, assuming either group would accept him.
In related news, LACHANCLA came close to revoking the Latino credentials for media letdown Geraldo Rivera, but instead issued an injunction requiring him to only use his pre-Affirmative Action name of Jerry Rivers.
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