NBA Finals spur santeria vs. brujeria heat between fans

by Victor Payan on June 20, 2013 in El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) While tempers are running hot in anticipation of tonight’s Game 7 of the NBA Finals between the San Antonio Spurs and the Miami Heat, nowhere is this more disturbing than in a war of sorts that has broken out between San Antonio brujas and the Miami santeria community.

The stakes are definitely high for Game 7, which will decide the NBA Championship for all eternity.

Residents in both communities are reporting widespread thefts of chickens and goats.  The price of live chickens on the black market has reportedly risen to $500 a beak.

Like Tony Parker and Lebron James, santeros and brujas are giving it their all and pulling out all the stops for their teams to win the Championship.

While Miami santeros are evoking Shango and other orisha, San Antonio brujas have reportedly placed a “mal ojo” on Heat players and have threatened to get “nasty,” just like their favorite team.

According to brujaweekly.com, there was so much backyard bloodshed during Game 6, it is already going down in sports history as the “Game of Thrones.”

Many in the San Antonio brujeria community feel the battle royale started as a result of a Tweet from a Miami Heat fan after devastating flooding drenched San Antonio with 9 to 11 inches of rain over the May 25 weekend.

@CeliaCruzIsMyCoPilot wrote: “Hey, Spurs fans, how did you like seeing Shango unchained this weekend? Bet you’re all wet, just like your team!”

This threw down the gauntlet and spurred an onslaught of Tweets such as “Florida sucks!,” “Don’t mess with Texas” and “I’ll show you 9-11 inches!”

In the Twittersphere, a fan called @GoatSpurs! claimed responsibility for the collapse of a waterfront restaurant deck in Miami, which plunged dozens of Heat fans into Biscayne Bay during Game 5.

“Check the news for a Spurs ‘slam dunk’ in Miami. Southsiiiiide!” wrote @GoatSpurs! in a Tweet moments before the deck collapsed.

While over 80% of the audience for Game 6 in Miami was wearing white, the traditional color of santeros, sportscasters speculate that 90% of the audience at AT&T Center in San Antonio will be wearing black, the traditional color of brujas.

“We think 80% will be brujas, and 10% will be heavy metal fans still wearing Guns N’ Roses t-shirts from last month’s River City Rockfest,” predicted the San Antonio Current.

No one knows to what extent the bruja/santeria rivalry will influence the game, but Texas Gov. Rick Perry paused from attacking women’s rights and dumbing down schools to issue a Severe Goat Warning throughout the state to avoid birria from unlicensed vendors.

A similar Arroz Con Pollo Advisory was issued by Florida Gov. Rick Scott.

 

San Antonio bruja “Jackeee” gets nasty in this video from Piñata Protest.

 

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