(PNS reporting from AFRICA) As the Muslim world erupts in grisly violence over a third-rate movie trailer, the Christian world is preparing to be rocked by the discovery of a new monkey species in Central Africa — a species that eerily resembles the “restored” Spanish Jesus fresco that has been sarcastically dubbed as Ecce Mono (behold the monkey.)
Religious leaders around the globe are interpreting the resemblance of the monkey to the Spanish Jesus fresco as a sign from God, although they are not exactly sure what the sign means.
Fundamentalist Christian scholars across the United States are combing Revelation for any clues as to whether the revelation of this new monkey species, called Cercopithecus Nomamensis, signals the beginning of the Apocalypse.
Ironically, the new monkey species was discovered on Sept. 11, exactly 100 days before the projected Mayan Apocalypse, which is scheduled to begin on Dec. 21, 2012, right after lunch.
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The Vatican has called a special session of its high-ranking Cardinals to determine whether this newly-discovered monkey is the work of God, and if so can they sleep with its children.
Mormon leaders in Salt Lake City are dispatching plane loads of missionaries to Africa to baptise as many of these monkeys as they can find.
Atheists around the world are also reassessing their views due to the discovery of the new monkey.
“This is too funny,” wrote Jesus S. Copiloto, on his blog nogod4me.com. “Only God would be able pull off a prank at this level. My hat’s off to you, Sir.”
Although this issue is bound to renew fierce debates about evolution, scientists agree that this is a cosmic joke whose trajectory from setup to punchline is approximately 235,000 years.
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