LAPD finds Christopher Dorner wallet at Russian meteor crash site

(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Fugitive ex-cop Christopher Dorner’s wallet was found at the Russian meteor crash site, according to an LAPD statement issued here today.

Although the Los Angeles Police Department does not have an explanation for how the charred wallet ended up on the meteor, observers note the theory supports the “Magic Wallet” theory the LAPD is using to explain how Dorner’s wallet and ID were simultaneously found on a boat in San Diego, at the San Ysidro border and intact in the ashes of the burned out cabin at Big Bear.

According to the LAPD statement, the sonic boom which broke windows across Russia was likely a self-inflicted gunshot from Dorner, who may have been hiding on the meteor.

Officers rushed to the crash site when an anonymous tipster reported the meteor came from the constellation of “Ursa Major,” which is also the LAPD name for Big Bear. Observant detectives quickly learned that Russia herself was often depicted as a bear, heightening their suspicions.

The LAPD has dispatched investigators to search for Dorner’s wallet at meteor crash sites in San Jose, Cuba, Chile and Japan.  Sales of “Don’t Shoot, Not Dorner” merchandise have escalated in those areas as a result of the announcement.

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