PNS*Hot*Flash: Mexico fights bird flu outbreak with drones

(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MEXICO) Mexican corporate chicken farms are fighting the bird flu outbreak in the central state of Guanajuato with specially-equipped drones, PNS has learned.

Over 582,000 chickens infected with avian influenza will be killed robotically by Depredadors, a Mexico-only model of the well-known American Predator drone.

The Depredador (photo) runs on high octane aviation fuel made only from sugar cane; the domestic Predators rely on high-fructose corn syrup.

“We’re taking every precaution not to kill innocent civilian chickens,” a spokesman for Industrias Bachoco SAB, Mexico’s biggest chicken producer told PNS Monday, “but shit happens, no?”

“We’ve talked to our abogados and they’ve developed comprehensive guidelines as to when and how we can remotely terminate pollos y gallos (and pollitos and gallitos if necessary) if they present a clear and present danger to the welfare of the chicken gente as a whole. This is not a decision we undertake lightly, because, as you know, I think the Americans say ‘If you let one flu over the cuckoo’s nest, you’re pinche out of luck.'”

Government agricultural and food safety officials agree that drastic steps are are needed to prevent infected chickens from crossing the road and getting to the other side — further spreading the influenza — but sources say Gov. Alejandro Ramirez Sanchez de Bernstein has expressed concern the outbreak may hurt the sale of Guanajuato’s primary exports, guano and juato.

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