Post image for PNS*Hot*Flash: Sick Queen Elizabeth says horsemeat is fine

PNS*Hot*Flash: Sick Queen Elizabeth says horsemeat is fine

by Malcolm Mex on March 4, 2013 in El Now, Pocho Ñews Service

(PNS reporting from LONDON) Queen Elizabeth II of England — depite being briefly hospitalized with a stomach infection — has endorsed the stampede of European carnivores who say horsemeat in your beefburger is no big deal.

Joining the German cabinet minister who advocated giving horsemeat-tainted products to poor people and the Huffington Post’s LatinoVoices, which published a Cuban horsemeat recipe, the 86-year-old Queen put her stamp of approval on the new “austerity” regime:

“Let them eat horse!” she proclaimed Sunday before being admitted to King Edward VII hospital in central London.

As the mis-labeling scandal spread, PNS has learned next-in-line-to-the-throne Prince Charles ate horse on his wedding night.

As a result, Ye Royal Foode Inspectors Office will announce later today that it is perfectly acceptable to consume “beef” products “containing up to 30% equine DNA and 5% Camilla Parker Bowles.”

Horse-loving demonstrators rallied in London’s Hyde Park Sunday to protest the Queen’s royal imperative. “Just say neigh,” they chanted. “Pintos are people, too!”

In Berlin, a Gallop poll claimed 53% of Germans agreed with the statement “Horsemeat gives me the trots.”

Parisian cafe habitues, however, were all sangfroid. While “biftek frites” remains popular on French menus, many are opting for a lower-priced ground-meat cutlet know locally as “the cheval you rode in on.”

Further north, mega-retailer Ikea has introduced Swedish Horseballs to their in-store cafes, served, of course, with dingleberries. A substantial portion at a nice price, we might add.

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

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