8. Anchor baby (noun) – Wait- this is an anti-Latino slur? FAIL. Seriously, this just makes us picture an infant so cute and fat we could use it for a boat anchor. Just chuck it in – kerPLOP! – you can drift and chug Coronas all afternoon. Do better, wingnuts.
7. Arpaio (proper noun) – Actually, we’d just like to banish this one from the government payroll, strip it down to its pink underwear and let it play where’s-the-soap for 99 to life.
6. Auto-tune (verb) – To digitally modify the pitch of a singer’s voice. Triggers auditory hallucinations, plugs you into your inner 11-year-old and then induces vomiting and amnesia so bad that you forget how to hear or make real music and instead make your own revolting noises: : “Waaahhh! SQUEEEE!! *BARF.*” Or wait, maybe that’s dubstep.
5. Citizens United (case law) – Corporate personhood, robber barony, pinche piracy. You know Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission by other names – Let’s hope the next round of litigation kills it.
4. Mayan ruins (noun, metaphor) – We’re all headed there at the end of the year. We got our outfits picked out and everything. Let’s not talk about it. Too depressing.
3. Prop. 8 – (case law) Here’s the deal – you don’t tell us who we can’t marry or boink, we won’t impeach you for failing to uphold the Constitution.
2. Santoru… oh, wait. Never mind.
2. Tea-bagger (noun) – “pendejo” is so much more succinct.
And the ochoiest most banishable word is:
99% lazy (adjective) – A broad, human-racial slur against all pochos and nearly the rest of the world. The phrase originates in sloppy math figgered out during five-martini, three-hooker, 7-gram-rock lunches aboard upholstered, taxpayer-subsidized Learjets ridden by pale, flabby hedge-fund managers, who usually chain underfed child slaves and diamond-encrusted calculators to the foot of their aircraft-carrier-sized titanium desks to handle the fancy arithmetic, but somehow forgot to feed them while preening for the jelly-brained newsmedia – which then rebroadcast “99% lazy” as a talking point.
Not that we’re bitter. Or drunk.
Photo by WeirdBeard.
Any other words you want to banish in 2012? Post them in comments below!