Pocho Ocho words we should banish in 2012

by Gabacho Borracho on January 21, 2012 in Cultura, Pocho Ocho

8. Anchor baby (noun) – Wait- this is an anti-Latino slur? FAIL. Seriously, this just makes us picture an infant so cute and fat we could use it for a boat anchor. Just chuck it in – kerPLOP! – you can drift and chug Coronas all afternoon. Do better, wingnuts.

7.  Arpaio (proper noun) – Actually, we’d just like to banish this one from the government payroll, strip it down to its pink underwear and let it play where’s-the-soap for 99 to life.

6. Auto-tune (verb) – To digitally modify the pitch of a singer’s voice. Triggers auditory hallucinations, plugs you into your inner 11-year-old and then induces vomiting and amnesia so bad that you forget how to hear or make real music and instead make your own revolting noises: : “Waaahhh! SQUEEEE!! *BARF.*” Or wait, maybe that’s dubstep.

5. Citizens United (case law) – Corporate personhood, robber barony, pinche piracy. You know Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission by other names – Let’s hope the next round of litigation kills it.

4. Mayan ruins (noun, metaphor) – We’re all headed there at the end of the year. We got our outfits picked out and everything. Let’s not talk about it. Too depressing.

3. Prop. 8 – (case law) Here’s the deal – you don’t tell us who we can’t marry or boink, we won’t impeach you for failing to uphold the Constitution.

2. Santoru… oh, wait. Never mind.

2. Tea-bagger (noun) – “pendejo” is so much more succinct.

And the ochoiest most banishable word is:

99% lazy (adjective) – A broad, human-racial slur against all pochos and nearly the rest of the world. The phrase originates in sloppy math figgered out during five-martini, three-hooker, 7-gram-rock lunches aboard upholstered, taxpayer-subsidized Learjets ridden by pale, flabby hedge-fund managers, who usually chain underfed child slaves and diamond-encrusted calculators to the foot of their aircraft-carrier-sized titanium desks to handle the fancy arithmetic, but somehow forgot to feed them while preening for the jelly-brained newsmedia – which then rebroadcast “99% lazy”  as a talking point.

Not that we’re bitter. Or drunk.

Photo by WeirdBeard.

Any other words you want to banish in 2012? Post them in comments below!

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