Pocho Ocho reasons Daniel D. Portado isn’t ‘Dancing with the Stars’

Daniel D. Portado, militant self-deportationist

8. He only does a Rio Grande River Dance in wing tips.

7. He is not unfamous enough yet.

6. Body image issues, anticipating the Gaykeeper Sheriff Babeu will ogle him.

5. If he goes to a Hollywood game show they may think he is Canadian.

4. Hispanic Republicans dance like Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

3. Will only Paso Doble with Jan Brewer.

2. Mario Lopez set the bar too high.

And the numero uno reason Daniel D. Portado won’t be on Dancing with the Stars is …

Mexican Mitt Romney has a crush on him they are waiting to see what happens with Propositon 8.

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