Pocho Ocho reasons we weren’t invited to the Oscars

In Hollywood, they say, Oscar is king. So why didn’t POCHO get invited to the king’s Big Night Out?

8. All the valet gigs are sewn up by Telemundo producers.

7. They only invite Hispanics with the right attitude, with good credit  and who play well with others.

6. There is an industry ban on pastel Quinceañera Tuxedos.

5. They think Mexican Mitt is a Cuban baseball catcher.

4. The Gorton’s Fisherman is going to be there and the Academy fears there will be rude comments about his wife.

3. Sheriff Paul Babeu has a crush on Daniel D. Portado, who is a token honored guest.

2. Mayan calendar says the world will end when Chicanos are invited to the Oscars.

And the top reason POCHO wasn’t invited to the Oscars is …

Paranoid fears POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz will draw cartoons on the cabezas of bald gringos seated in front of him.

Oscar statue installation photo by iheartstockings.  Article courtesy of our good buds at LatinoLa.com.