‘Mexican Judge’ Reveals Pocho Ocho Top Secrets of Trump University

by Especial Correspondents on June 2, 2016 in El Now, Pocho Ocho

trump-university-screenshotNewly unsealed federal fraud lawsuit records show that unqualified instructors and abusive sales tactics weren’t the only “trade secrets” Trump University was trying to hide.

Sworn testimony and company documents — ordered released by Indiana-born “Mexican judge” Gonzalo Curiel of the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of California — also revealed these Pocho Ocho Top Shameful Secrets of Trump University:

8. Trump University cafeteria’s “taco bowls” were based on a recipe rejected by Rick Bayless.

7. Trump University sales staffers (“admission counselors”) who didn’t make assigned quotas were dressed as gorillas and dropped off in Cincinnati.

6. Course outline for URBAN REAL ESTATE REDEVELOPMENT included a seminar entitled “Evicting a three-generation family business and replacing it with a chain retailer is easy if you just remember these three letters: K, K and K.”

5. Trump University was incorporated in Panama by Mossack Fonseca.

4. Two Words: Pants On Fire.

3. Class credits don’t transfer to any institution other than State Prison.

2. “Sheltering in place” in the event of a school shooting was to be billed at $499 for the first shooting, $299 for every shooting thereafter.

And the Numero Uno Top Shameful Secret of Trump University is …

Trump University’s unofficial motto: “If suckers gonna suck, grifters gonna grift.”

Lalo Alcaraz, Professor Equis, and Comic Saenz contributed to this report.

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