Sheriff Joe is racist, says Federal judge, and Pocho Ocho other things

by Especial Correspondents on May 28, 2013 in El Now, Pocho Ocho

The news broke out of Phoenix late Friday, but to tell you the truth, we weren’t surprised. Judge G. Murray Snow of the United States District Court for Arizona officially declared the policing policies of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio unconstitutionally “racist.”

The New York Times summed up the decision this way:

… the sheriff relied on racial profiling and illegal detentions to target Latinos, using their ethnicity as the main basis for suspecting they were in the country illegally. Many of the people targeted were American citizens or legal residents.

It took us a while to read the entire ruling but we went through the whole thing and came up with eight additional findings about “America’s toughest sheriff”:

8. Hates UPS

7. Two words: pink chonies

6. Refuses to watch “the colored TV”

5. Repeatedly stepped on a crack tryin’ to break your mother’s back

4. His contract rider specifies no brown M&Ms

3. Emailed his top commanders: “What’s wrong with being racy?”

2. Asked fellow “birther” Donald Trump for permission to touch his hair, just once

And the numero uno other thing the judge noted about Sheriff Joe:

He planned to repaint all his department’s cop cars to resemble the General Lee.

{ 1 comment }

Isaac May 28, 2013 at 11:55 AM

He also refers to guacamole as freedom paste and demands that piñatas return to their homeland.

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