address

coperton

gusgradSaturday morning, I had the honor of giving the commencement speech at UC Riverside’s College of Arts, Humanities, and Social Sciences for their Sociology, Philosophy, Neuroscience, and Psychology students (what a mouthful!).

Following are my prepared remarks, which I mostly hewed to. I did begin my speech with an explanation of what ustedes and y’all meant, and the pocos pero locos line was improvised and laughed at by about three people.

Anyhoo, enjoy!

Let’s start with an experiment, shall we?

I want all the psychology majors to stand up? Applaud them, por favor, for getting to this special day. [Mas…]

obamabackWashington insiders all know tonight’s State of the Union address — like every one before — will bring a few surprises.

We asked around town, and our peeps say these are the top eight to watch for:

8. First use of the Booger-Cam™ captures candid live video of bored Republicans

7. Warmup act Oprah Winfrey to Congress: “You get a drone…and you get a drone. Everybody gets a drone!”

6. Obama cruises to the Capitol in a clean 1953 Packard limousine, a gift from the people of Cuba [Mas…]

barackback

obamabackWhite House insiders indicate the President’s State of the Union address tonight will have a few surprises for the Congressional and TV audiences.

Here are the top eight:

8. The NSA will intercept Republicans’ text messages to each other and display them on the JumboTron in real time

7. President Obama will be sporting snazzy new Uncle Sugar costume

6. Mass wedding performed according to Sharia Law [Mas…]

The Gettysburg Address by the Presidents of the United States (videos)

by José Canusí November 19, 2013 Cultura
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Director Ken Burns got all the living Presidents — and some celebrity friends — to recite Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, the speech first delivered at a Civil War battlefield in Pennsylvania 150 years ago today. But when Civil War-reinacting Confederate soldier wannabes run into reality, rebellion doesn’t seem like so much fun any more:

[Mas…]

Did you miss the Inauguration? We’ve got the video!

by Comic Saenz January 25, 2013 El Now
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From Pres. Barack Obama’s Second Inaugural Address: “Your baby cousin likes me because I’m more normal and have a smooshy finger? No!” RELATED: Pocho Ocho zingers dropped from Obama’s Inaugural Address

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Pocho Ocho zingers dropped from Obama’s Inaugural Address

by Especial Correspondents January 21, 2013 El Now
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That was quite a speech, eh? President Bronco Bama rocked the Inaugural Address. Of course, what he didn’t say is as important as what he did. Here are the pocho ocho zingers dropped from the final espeech: 8. I want to reach across the aisle to our Republican friends and propose the No Mullet Left Behind […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho tips for grads: How to make it in the ‘real world’

by Elise Roedenbeck May 24, 2012 Cultura
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Are you a newly-graduated pocho preparing to take your first baby steps out into the so-called “real world?” We’ve got tips for you! 8. Unsure about your next move? Do you need a movement or idea to get behind? Start an Occupy College movement on your campus! You may have graduated, but this will ensure […]

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Gustavo Arellano: This one goes out to all the community college grads

by GUSTAVO ARELLANO May 24, 2012 Cultura
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Author, editor and POCHO amigo Gustavo Arellano delivered this commencement speech yesterday to the graduates of Long Beach Community College: Gracias for having me here, Vikings. I come from that evil land over yonder on the other side of the 405 — Orange County. Por favor don’t hold it against me, as I come to […]

[Mas…]