advice

Dear Abuelita: Maybe I’m doing it wrong, Chican@, burning bras

by Dear Abuelita June 13, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Dear Abuelita: Maybe I’m doing it wrong, Chican@, burning bras

Dear Abuelita: I’ll give to you straight. I’m newly-married and confused. My wife won’t give me oral sex and she refuses to let me do her. She says it is sinful. We were both virgins when we were married so it didn’t come up before, but it’s making things difficult in the bedroom. She won’t […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho tips for grads: How to make it in the ‘real world’

by Elise Roedenbeck May 24, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Pocho Ocho tips for grads: How to make it in the ‘real world’

Are you a newly-graduated pocho preparing to take your first baby steps out into the so-called “real world?” We’ve got tips for you! 8. Unsure about your next move? Do you need a movement or idea to get behind? Start an Occupy College movement on your campus! You may have graduated, but this will ensure […]

[Mas…]

Dear Abuelita: Obama or Romney? Flour or corn? Quinceaneras?

by Dear Abuelita May 23, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Dear Abuelita: Obama or Romney? Flour or corn? Quinceaneras?

Dear Abuelita, What are you drinking? Is that “Chocolate Abuelita?” It looks different. Anyway…I heard that Mitt Romney really likes Hispanics. Do you think I should vote for him or should I vote for my Negrito again? At least I know that he supports the Dream Act. Aayy! Abuelita, please ease my worries. Signed, Aye […]

[Mas…]

Dear Abuelita: Prisoner’s dilemma, flashback to the Summer of Love

by Dear Abuelita May 16, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Dear Abuelita: Prisoner’s dilemma, flashback to the Summer of Love

Dear Abuelita, OK so I went to this internet dating site and filled out this long questionnaire about my inner feelings and wants and desires and what are my values and what is important to me and all that and still I get no replies from the chicas I email. I will be out in […]

[Mas…]

Dear Abuelita: Foreskin and seven years ago, I’ve got man boobs

by Dear Abuelita May 9, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Dear Abuelita: Foreskin and seven years ago, I’ve got man boobs

Dear Abuelita, I have still my cuero (foreskin) and I was wondering if I get circumcised will I feel better when I am inside a choncho or will I be wasting my ficha. Signed, Extra Carne Dear Extra Carne Carnal, Some people dislike extra carnita on their flauta but a little foreskin can be fun […]

[Mas…]

Dear Abuelita: Gay for a day, my 34C boobs, a career in modeling

by Dear Abuelita May 2, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Dear Abuelita: Gay for a day, my 34C boobs, a career in modeling

Dear Abuelita, I wear a 34C bra. My boyfriend is always scoping out girls with bigger boobs. Should I get implants? Titi Caca Dear Titi Caca, Here’s what you need to do: Tell your boyfriend to look in the mirror the next time he wants to see a big boob then dump the pendejo. As […]

[Mas…]

Dear Abuelita: Does my extensive toy frog collection scare off men?

by Dear Abuelita April 18, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Dear Abuelita: Does my extensive toy frog collection scare off men?

Dear Abuelita, For the last 20 years of my 30, I’ve been collecting toy frogs. My apartment is so full of frogs there is barely a place to sit down. I’ve never had a long-term boyfriend because I can never invite them over for fear they will freak out. How can I find a man […]

[Mas…]

Ñewsweek: Curse like a Mexican, think like a vato, build an arcade

by PEEVEE GUIDE April 15, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Ñewsweek: Curse like a Mexican, think like a vato, build an arcade

Attention pinche pendejos! Yes, you, culero! What? You don’t know what we’re talking about? Then you need to watch the one-minute video refresher course on How to curse like a Mexican, the biggest story on POCHO this week. For the link and our other big stories, keep reading  below.

[Mas…]

Dear Abuelita: I howl like a dog in my sleep – could I be horny?

by Dear Abuelita April 11, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Dear Abuelita: I howl like a dog in my sleep – could I be horny?

Dear Abuelita, Early this morning while I was sleeping I thought my Jack-Chi dog Chacho was howling from his chair in the living room. (He enjoys the wing-backed chair with the mauve chenille cushion.) I called out for him to come to me. My roommate (my ex who is still legally my husband) came into […]

[Mas…]

Dear Abuelita: I’m 48 and I love this guy but I think I scared him off

by Dear Abuelita April 4, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Dear Abuelita: I’m 48 and I love this guy but I think I scared him off

Querida Abuelita, I’m a 48-year-old hot-blooded Latina and pienso que I’ve finally fallen in love por la ultima vez as in I WANT TO MARRY THIS MAN! Problem is quizas I have scared him away after he hit his nerdy cabeza falling so hard for me, too. How do I hook the love of my […]

[Mas…]

Dear Abuelita: Is my girlfriend really a virgin? And why no sex now?

by Dear Abuelita March 28, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Dear Abuelita: Is my girlfriend really a virgin? And why no sex now?

Dear Abuelita: I am a 20-year-old Latino man. My girlfriend will not have sex with me until we get married and she insists she’s a virgin. I’m not sure she’s telling the truth. Is there any way to tell if she’s a virgin or not? Crazy with Celibacy Dear Crazy with Celibacy: Ever hear of “something […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho ways Latinas emasculate Latinos

by Sara Inés Calderón March 28, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Pocho Ocho ways Latinas emasculate Latinos

It can be hard to be a Latina, but it can be even harder to be in love with one. I will admit that I occasionally emasculate my Latino friends, love interests and acquaintances. Given that Latinos and Latinas alike often contend with issues of machismo,  emasculation can sometimes happen by accident. Then again, for […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho tips for Latino astronauts (like José Hernández)

by Al Carlos Hernandez March 27, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Pocho Ocho tips for Latino astronauts (like José Hernández)

So you want to follow José Hernández into outer espace as a Latino astronaut? Here’s our handy list of tips for a safe and successful mission: 8. Do not order the all-bean burrito for lunch. 7. When you fly over my house, wave or else people will think you’re stuck up. 6. Make a mean […]

[Mas…]