black friday

It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPhone X — and that’s why we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho Best Ways to Survive Black Friday:

8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.

7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.

6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.
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It takes a tough team of retail warriors to work at the Big Store in the Big Mall on Thanksgiving Day, and a tough manager to keep ’em in the game. [Video by Más Mejor.]

It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPad Pro — and that’s why we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to survive Black Friday:

8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.

7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.

6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.
[Mas…]

I’m so sick of Christmas and December isn’t even a week old!

Every year it’s the same crap over and over again. I mean, I wasn’t even finished pretending not to eat Halloween candy before people started playing that Christmas music — don’t even get me started on the music! It’s like, let’s take a has-been artist and have them pump out some horrible tripe and force everyone to remember why they became irrelevant in the first place, all the while pretending like we’re enjoying the tunes.

You know, all those songs were written during a time when my grandparents weren’t even allowed to go into certain restaurants. “No Mexicans, No Dogs” is what the door signs used to say. “White Christmas” indeed! [Mas…]

It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPhone 6 — and that’s why we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to survive Black Friday:

8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.

7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.

6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.
[Mas…]

I’m so sick of Christmas and December isn’t even a week old!

Every year it’s the same crap over and over again. I mean, I wasn’t even finished pretending not to eat Halloween candy before people started playing that Christmas music — don’t even get me started on the music! It’s like, let’s take a has-been artist and have them pump out some horrible tripe and force everyone to remember why they became irrelevant in the first place, all the while pretending like we’re enjoying the tunes.

You know, all those songs were written during a time when my grandparents weren’t even allowed to go into certain restaurants. “No Mexicans, No Dogs” is what the door signs used to say. “White Christmas” indeed! [Mas…]

La Cucaracha: Hooked on that Thanksgiving feeling! (toon)

by Lalo Alcaraz November 29, 2013 Cartoons
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I really, really hate Christmas and here’s why

by MIRA LA REINA December 6, 2012 Cultura
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I’m so sick of Christmas and December isn’t even a week old! Every year it’s the same crap over and over again. I mean, I wasn’t even finished pretending not to eat Halloween candy before people started playing that Christmas music — don’t even get me started on the music! It’s like, let’s take a […]

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Pocho Ocho Cyber Lunes gift tips are just a clika guey

by DON BARATO November 26, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Pocho Ocho Cyber Lunes gift tips are just a clika guey

As long as the boss isn’t looking, today is the day when pochos all over America go holiday gift shopping on the Internets. If you’re not shopping at Lalo Alcaraz’s place, these Pocho Ocho gift tips (with links) will turn your Cyber Lunes from Mission Impossible to Cyber Espace Mission Accomplished: 8. Santa’s Helpers are […]

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Ñewsweek: Thanksgiving, Black Friday and Señor Twinkie

by Comic Saenz November 25, 2012 El Now
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There were these Pilgrims, OK? They were like undocumented boat people refugees fleeing religious oppression in England and they drove all the way to America. Err, sailed over. And there they met these Noble Native Americans who taught them how to plant corn with fish and everyone had this amazing turkey dinner together because they […]

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Twinkiegate: Top Republicans tried to kill Hostess sale to Mexico

by Victor Payan November 23, 2012 Cartoons
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(PNS reporting from GLENDALE, CA) Documents released today confirm that top GOP officials conspired to kill the sale of Hostess snack foods to Mexico’s baked goods behemoth Grupo Bimbo.  Critics are blasting the Republicans for the scheme which resulted in Hostess Brands officially closing today after 82 years. Grupo Bimbo, which is alive and well, […]

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Pocho Ocho tips for a successful if not safe and sane Black Friday

by Especial Correspondents November 22, 2012 Cultura
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It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPad. So as a public service we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to make your Black Friday quest successful, if not totally safe and sane: 8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ […]

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Black Friday or ‘How I stabbed myself in the eye’

by Elise Valderrama November 21, 2012 Cultura
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Hey, everybody! Here comes that most horrible days of days: Black Friday, or as I like to call it, stab-myself-in-the-eye-and-roll-under-a-bus day! Black Friday makes me want to jump off a cliff into a pile of rusty knives. I can’t think of anything worse than waking up at the butt-crack of dawn to go shopping in […]

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