Obama’s List: Pocho Ocho things more dangerous than alchohol

obamaweedFormer stoner Barack Obama doesn’t think marijuana “is more dangerous than alcohol,” according to The New Yorker:

“As has been well documented, I smoked pot as a kid, and I view it as a bad habit and a vice, not very different from the cigarettes that I smoked as a young person up through a big chunk of my adult life. I don’t think it is more dangerous than alcohol,” the president said.

But if mota is not more dangerous than alcohol, what is? Here are the top eight contenders:

Mas…Obama’s List: Pocho Ocho things more dangerous than alchohol

Breaking: Chef Rick Bayless invents ultimate hangover cure

7upbaby640(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Black coffee, menudo, In-N-Out, mota, maybe even a little hair of the dog — all common hangover remedies, right? But according to a study from Mexican culinary genius Rick Bayless, a new discovery might have them all beat: 7-Up.

“People have helplessly suffered hangovers forever and without any kind of cure. Well, I have discovered the single greatest hangover cure of all-time and can back it up with scientific evidence. No one has ever thought of this before…it’s 7-Up, my friends. You’re welcome!” Bayless told PNS.

Mas…Breaking: Chef Rick Bayless invents ultimate hangover cure

Stoner Latino student calls woman’s mom a ‘wetback’ on Facebook

(PNS reporting from  SAN MARCOS, TX) Seventeen-year-old San Marcos High School senior Byron Chavez called someone’s mother a “wetback” in a comment on a Facebook photo yesterday — Mothers Day.

Chavez, the grandson of Mexican immigrants, used the W-word in response to a widely-circulated picture of a young woman at an immigration reform rally holding a sign reading “Fuck Weed. Legalize My Mom.”

Chavez posted “Fuck your wetback mom! Legalize Weed!” 30 minutes after his cousin Lauren Saucedo posted the image on her timeline .

“I was taken aback by his comment,”  Saucedo emailed PNS. “Our grandparents were immigrants who came from Mexico looking for a better future.”

Mas…Stoner Latino student calls woman’s mom a ‘wetback’ on Facebook

Free medical marijuana tamales? ‘Take A Hit’! (NSFW video)


In Garden Grove, a nice city in Orange County, qualified patients of the ABC Marijuana Cooperative can get free mota tamales on Fridays, according to Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano. The traditional delicacies come in chicken, cheese and pork varieties, and the pineapple tamales pack the extra miracle ingredient of cannabis.

North of Rancho Pocho, up in Oxnard, Ventura County, the Earthquake Institute shines the spotlight on the forces opposing pot legalization and suggests alternatives in Take A Hit. (NSFW.)

Mas…Free medical marijuana tamales? ‘Take A Hit’! (NSFW video)

Mayan weed bombs scar U.S. field, Trekkies prepare for Apocalypse

Every day brings us closer to the End of the World as We Know It on December 21 (synchronize your chronometers with our MAYAN APOCALYPSE DOOMSDAY COUNTDOWN CLOCK in the right column.)

All over the Internets, extremely concerned Trekkies are banding together to wear “expendable red” jerseys on The Last Day, so they can “die as Mr. Gene Rodenberry intended.”

And policia stationed near San Luis, AZ found a freshly-plowed field on the American side of the Colorado River scarred by craters and dotted with payloads of Mayan Marijuana apparently shot by cannabis cannoneers using a pneumatic cannon.

Pneumatic cannon? Federales found an empty industrial-sized CO2 canister, presumably propellant, in their hood.

Mas…Mayan weed bombs scar U.S. field, Trekkies prepare for Apocalypse

Ñewsweek: LOST GOV Jan Brewja, boobs, San Diego billboard

When Jan Brewja, governor of the Hate State of Arizona (photo,right), officially announced her absence from the jurisdiction, concerned Americans began a desperate search for LOST GOV, posting flyers on telephone polls and all over the Internets.

Her mysterious disappearance almost overshadowed the shocking revelation of Iowa’s Brian Peterson, who finally had to come to grips with the fact that he watches telenovelas for the boobs, not to learn Spanish like he originally told himself.

And in San Diego, a multimillionaire commissioned a billboard to get himself a new girlfriend for Christmas — a “Christmas Latina.” Our Especial Correspondents uncovered some earlier versions of the billboard, and an intrepid photographer snapped the final version of the message.

Here are the links to the top stories that broke the ñews:

Mas…Ñewsweek: LOST GOV Jan Brewja, boobs, San Diego billboard

Toke the Vote urges big turnout for Tuesday Presidential election

(PNS reporting from OAKLAND) “Are you planning on voting Tuesday, brah?” Dale Mendoza scrunched his eyes shut behind his dark sunglasses as he concentrated on his phone call with a potential voter in Arkansas.

“This election is critical, OK, and we totally need your vote.” Mendoza (photo, left) was the team leader of two dozen phone bank volunteers in a basement office in this Northern California city, possible the country’s most pot-friendly municipality.

The smoke-filled room is a California outpost of Toke the Vote, a coalition of pro-marijuana political activists backed by the Zig-Zag cigarette papers company and ConAgra’s Screaming Yellow Zonkers snack products.

Mas…Toke the Vote urges big turnout for Tuesday Presidential election

Connecticut becomes 17th state to OK ‘Medical Menudo’

The beef-stomach soup is 'la cura' for hangovers

(PNS reporting from the NUTMEG STATE) Connecticut became the 17th state to approve Medical Menudo yesterday when the state’s Senate gave overwhelming approval to a bill passed earlier by the Assembly.

“This is a new dawn for all Connecticutitians,” Sen. Juan Gopher (D-Bridgeport) told supporters. “The days of twitching, throbbing and sobbing alcohol victims waiting on sketchy corners for their menudo are over.”

The legislation, which awaits the expected approval of Gov. Nancy Wyman, allows non-profit collectives to dispense Medical Menudo (MM) to patients with a mariachi’s recommendation.

Prospective MM patient Rocio Balboa appeared excited by the news. “Gaaaaaaaah! My head. Ooook. It’s so bright. And stop shouting!” she told PNS.

But the policy does not enjoy universal support.

Mas…Connecticut becomes 17th state to OK ‘Medical Menudo’

Dear Abuelita: Foreskin and seven years ago, I’ve got man boobs

Dear Abuelita,
I have still my cuero (foreskin) and I was wondering if I get circumcised will I feel better when I am inside a choncho or will I be wasting my ficha.
Signed, Extra Carne

Dear Extra Carne Carnal,
Some people dislike extra carnita on their flauta but a little foreskin can be fun during foreplay. I can’t tell you how many times I played peek-a-boo with uncut pee-pees. Now you see it – now you don’t. Now you see it – oh, the laughs we had.

Mas…Dear Abuelita: Foreskin and seven years ago, I’ve got man boobs

4/20 Video: Lawrence Welk is ‘One Toke Over the Line’


In one of the most bizarre episodes ever run on the super square Lawrence Welk TV variety show, the ensemble presents their feel-good version of Brewer & Shipleys’ One Toke Over the Line.

I know, right? What were they thinking? Why is the under-conductor coughing like he sparked a harsh nug? Is the band giggling in the background? Did Welk think it was some kind of gospel tune?

Searching for Eldorado’s City of Gold, modern ‘goldbugs’ infest AZ

Photog Diego Rivera visited an Aztlanian gold mine before the locals hid it from the 'Conquistadors'

(PNS reporting from THE HATE STATE OF ARIZONA) It’s a mystery from history that’s too shiny to die:

Where exactly is Eldorado, the famed City of Gold built by ancient Aztlanians and hidden from the brutal “conquistadors?”

A  swarm of recession-smacked out-of-towners asked the question again last week in Yuma County, AZ. The answer included injuries, Hollywood and politics as usual.

Mas…Searching for Eldorado’s City of Gold, modern ‘goldbugs’ infest AZ