career

poniesEconomists say once a person has been unemployed for six months it is highly unlikely they will reenter the workforce.

It’s been a year since I was fired from my job and I feel like a BIG GIANT LOSER.

It wasn’t anything I did in particular. I thought for sure that one time I asked Floyd Mayweather if “he likes to take his work home with him” would do me in, alas, it was far more uneventful.

“We’ve decided not to renew your contract.”

“Um, OK.”

And it’s not like I’m totally unemployed. I regularly walk a dog named Jimmy Fallon — this causes great confusion when I nonchalantly say, “Jimmy Fallon growled at me today,” (though for the most part he is quite lovely, other than eating his own poop). [Mas…]

PermanentDebt

juncobrianwilliams


An education is the gateway to a climb up the career ladder, and you can get the skills you need to succeed at Vosotros Polytechnic Institute. Comes with a student loan guaranteed to last a lifetime!

(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Sandra Ceballos made a shocking discovery Friday night when she was out with her girlfriends.

The standards she’d been using to find a good husband were, as her friend Jenny put it, “appallingly low.”

Ceballos, whose family is from Mexico, was raised to believe that if a man is not too much of a drunk, works hard, and doesn’t beat you, he’s “good husband material.” [Mas…]


Two brothers and one amigo wonder what it’s all about, being responsible adults with degrees and stuff. From Hijo De Mi Madre Productions. [One F bomb.]

Mom puts cross on son’s front lawn to mark another failed relationship

by EresNerd October 14, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from HOUSTON) Sara Maestas placed a two-foot-high cruz on her only son’s lawn early this morning — a cross in remembrance of his latest failed relationship. The 32-year-old transactional lawyer got dumped Saturday night by his novia, less than 20 minutes after he blew off a dinner date. And now his mother’s white […]

[Mas…]

Villaraigosa’s proposal to new L.A. mayor Garcetti: ‘Be my wingman’

by María Purísima May 22, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES)  Outgoing Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villariagosa has a proposal for incoming mayor Eric Garcetti: Be my wingman. Villariagosa has been contemplating life after being LA’s mayor — and it’s not looking good. Reviewing his taste for power and dating attractive women who would be out of his shorty league if […]

[Mas…]

‘Spitfire,’ a novel by Annette Sandoval (Chapters 1-2)

by ANNETTE SANDOVAL April 4, 2013 Cultura
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Interoffice Memo To: Samantha From: Tomi Date: July 12, 2011 Subject: Guess what? Scott, the new associate, just offered me the executive assistant job. He says we could do a three-month trial. He’s offering $45,000 a year. What do you think? Tomi P.S. Yo mama is so ugly she makes onions cry.

[Mas…]

Schwarzeneggar ‘Total Retard’ bio takes hard look and bares all

by Malcolm Mex December 10, 2012 Cultura
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Former California Gübernator and bodybuilding icon Arnold Schwarzeneggar’s new autobiography Total Retard paints a scandalous picture of a life dominated by men, sweat, steroids, cigars and the desperate need to womanize and destroy the California economy. Reading like a review of an action film in which the main character blows up everything in his path, the […]

[Mas…]

Get the skills you need at Vosotros Polytechnic Institute (video)

by Comic Saenz November 13, 2012 Cultura
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You know it, pochos! An education is the gateway to a successful climb up the career ladder. Get the training you need to succeed at Vosotros Polytechnic Institute.

[Mas…]

Educated Bay Area Chicana wants to know ‘What about my needs?’

by María Purísima October 10, 2012 Cultura
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(PNS reporting from SAN FRANCISCO) A Chicana with a Juris Doctor degree and a Master’s in Public Policy from the University of California at Berkeley recently reflected on her career as the director of a non-profit serving underprivileged youth in the Mission District. Why, she wondered, was she was working so hard to give back. […]

[Mas…]

‘Luchano el Luchador’ was down on his luck, until… (video)

by GORGEOUS JORGE July 18, 2012 Cultura
http://pocho.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/luchano150.png

Luchano el Luchador was a wrestling great, a headliner – once upon a time. Now he’s washed up, works a depressing day job and has no hope for the future, until he picks up a card from a business that promises to change his life. Make sure you keep watching through the elaborate credits (Puta […]

[Mas…]

Dear Abuelita: Maybe I’m doing it wrong, Chican@, burning bras

by Dear Abuelita June 13, 2012 Cultura
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Dear Abuelita: I’ll give to you straight. I’m newly-married and confused. My wife won’t give me oral sex and she refuses to let me do her. She says it is sinful. We were both virgins when we were married so it didn’t come up before, but it’s making things difficult in the bedroom. She won’t […]

[Mas…]

Carmen’s dream: Security guard today, tomorrow a cop (NSFW video)

by CISCO YBERRA June 11, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Carmen’s dream: Security guard today, tomorrow a cop (NSFW video)

You can be whatever you want to be if you just set your mind to it, and Carmen (played by Roberta Valderrama) knows she can move up the law enforcement ladder from mall security guard to a career with the police. (NSFW language.)

[Mas…]

Dear Abuelita: Gay for a day, my 34C boobs, a career in modeling

by Dear Abuelita May 2, 2012 Cultura
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Dear Abuelita, I wear a 34C bra. My boyfriend is always scoping out girls with bigger boobs. Should I get implants? Titi Caca Dear Titi Caca, Here’s what you need to do: Tell your boyfriend to look in the mirror the next time he wants to see a big boob then dump the pendejo. As […]

[Mas…]