chili powder

The minute we heard the United States Air Force had planned and carried out Operation Chimichanga, we knew there had to be more to the story.  Our Pentagon sources confirmed the hunch:  The inspiration for the “chimichanga” code name was the way the Tex-Mex fried-burrito-belly-busters incapacitated unwary diners every time.  The brass hats’ hope was that secret teams in state-of-the-art aircraft could make the enemy moan just like fajita-fed TGIFridays customers on Cinco de Mayo.

There is more to the story — the pocho ocho secret Pentagon operations still in the planning stages:

8. Operation Don’t Drink the Water: Secret “wetback” forces from the Navy SEALS sneak into enemy territory and dose the water  with “pedo-biotic” agents bioengineered to cause widespread “Montezuma’s Revenge.”  This is expected to cause pandemic personal distress, lessen the enemy’s fighting capability and reduce water pressure.

7. Operation Hot Tamale: Inspired by the guetherman’s motto of “cool today, hot tamale,” stealthy airborne drones seed enemy skies with specially-formulated lard and masa pellets that trap your fat, screw your cholesterol and clot your veins.  [Mas…]