espanol

Spanish-speaking ‘holobot’ greets you at Long Beach Airport (video)

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Apocalyptic manifestations are occurring at accelerating rates and spreading all across the country as we approach The End of the World as We Know it on December 21. [SYNCHRONIZE YOUR DEVICES WITH POCHO’S MAYAN APOCALYPSE DOOMSDAY COUNTDOWN CLOCK IN THE RIGHT COLUMN.]

Close to our headquarters in Rancho Pocho, CA, municipal officials just installed a Spanish-speaking hottie robot-like being to offer greets to peeps at Long Beach Airport.

Mas…Spanish-speaking ‘holobot’ greets you at Long Beach Airport (video)

Watch: This may be the Internets’ only ninja cat video en Español

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In the world of videos on the Internets, we all see cat videos (or kitteh videos as they are known in some circles.)

Sometimes you see cat ninja videos, but not too often. (It’s very hard to get a cat to pay attention all the way through ninja training.)

And maybe, once in a lifetime, you find a kitteh ninja video en Español. Behold: El Gato Ninja. You’re welcome.

Fake Mexicans: Why Julian Castro failed the Mexican test

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(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Can you speak eSpanish like Mexican Mitt? Can you dance around a sombrero at a moment’s notice? Do you crease your Dickies until they can cut through glass? If you answered “no” to any of these questions then you might be a fake Mexican, just like San Antonio Mayor Julián Castro.

In the latest “fake Mexican” scandal, Castro made headlines across the country as the first Latino keynote speaker at the Democratic National Convention earlier this month, but his glaring lack of forced Spanish catch-phrases has some people questioning his Mexican card. Some have even dared to call the vato a pocho…

Mas…Fake Mexicans: Why Julian Castro failed the Mexican test

Mitt Romney’s ‘Deprimente’ (depressing) TV ad with English subtitles

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(PNS reporting from SALT LAKE CITY) As Mitt Romney works to grow support before the GOP convention, his campaign has reached out to Spanish-speaking voters with a new ad, Deprimente (depressing). POCHO translated the commercial for voters who don’t habla Español.

Pocho Ñews Service PNS is a wholly-fictitious subsidiary of Pochismo Inc., a California corporation, who is a person according to the Supreme Court.  Don’t ask us, we just work here.

Speaking Spanish gets you a free pizza – and Pocho Ocho other things

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The Pizza Patron chain has ignited a nationwide controversy with its offer of free pepperoni pies on June 5 if you order en Español.

What else you can get for speaking Spanish?

8. In Arizona, you get pulled over, disrespected and hassled.

7. In Miami, you get nothing, stupid. That’s how you’re supposed to talk.

6. In New York, you get to speak a secret language that everyone else understands.

Mas…Speaking Spanish gets you a free pizza – and Pocho Ocho other things

Ricky Martin Santorum wants Puerto Rico to be blahlingual

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(PNS reporting from POCHO RICO) Former senator and current GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum caused a furor on this island yesterday when he said English would have to be the “main language” for the Puerto Rican Commonwealth to ever become a state.

To be fair, when Santorum told a campaign rally crowd here in San Juan that Puerto Ricans should make English the official language, he didn’t think they could understand English at all.

Mas…Ricky Martin Santorum wants Puerto Rico to be blahlingual