eva longoria

estefanWe at POCHO have been around so long we remember when even Mexicans didn’t want to be Mexican. (We think that was just about two weeks ago.)

But Miami-based Cuban-American Emilio Estefan and his friends are all Mexicans now, at least in a music video.

By the way, we at POCHO also remember when Emilio Estefan threatened to sue the L.A. Weekly because of a “Mexiled” column that Lalo Alcaraz wrote portraying Estefan as the Fidel Castro of the Latin Grammys. Oh, but that was so long ago…

Let’s all be Mexican instead! Mexican, tu sabes, is the new black.

Mira y escucha: Todos Somos Mexicanos: [Mas…]

Behold, The Hectors©, bestowed for Excellence in Mockability.

The Hectors© are named for POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz’ cousin Hector (photo), who is excellent at ruining family gatherings, especially when he has downed his third 12-pack. He hasn’t seen a film since Blood In, Blood Out.

And the Hector© goes to:

[Mas…]

footwiki640It’s on the Internets, so it’s got to be true. Actress and singer Selena Gomez’s “gorgeous, five-star” feet are the most popular celebrity tootsies on wikiFeet, the all feet, all the time website (screen cap).

Here are just two of the photos that got foot star Gomez to the top of the wikiFeet charts:

Feets don’t fail me now! How about some Jessica Alba (tenth most popular) foot action? (Just so you know, “the foot (plural feet) is an anatomical structure found in many vertebrates. It is the terminal portion of a limb which bears weight and allows locomotion,” according to Wikipedia.) OK, back to Jessica Alba: [Mas…]

attentionhollywoodOkay, time for a reality check.

Despicable Me 2 made $59.5 million in its first two days of release. Do any of you seriously believe that Universal gives a flying fuck if Latinos are upset over the negative stereotyping of a Latino character ?

As my good friend Bob Eisele likes to say, “Here’s the situation…” THEY DON’T CARE. Please allow me to repeat that… THEY DON’T CARE.

We Latinos can yell, scream, jump up and down, stand on our heads, do somersaults and they still won’t care. The movie is on track to make hundreds of millions of dollars for Universal.

Year before last, Ron Meyer, the head of Universal Studios, spoke at a NALIP luncheon and told us to our faces that Universal doesn’t make Latino-themed or Latino-starred movies because Latinos don’t go to see them. And you know what? He’s right. Latinos are almost 40% of the all important opening day box office. Unfortunately, Latinos go to see Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Transformers, Star Trek, Star Wars, Iron Man, Batman, Spiderman, anything but Latino-themed movies. What’s the solution? [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Animal Planet Latino will be premiering a new “documentary” series that has stirred the waters of controversy.

The new cable show, Devious Mermaids, will explore the lives of five captured Latina mermaids who live in a giant tank on display at a Florida aquatic park set in the fictional town of Orlando.

Critics of the show are disturbed by what they call misleading and unrealistic portrayal of Latinas.

They also are assailing creator Marc Cherry, charging that as a middle-aged landlubber, he is insensitive when it comes to interpreting the experience of Latina mermaids. [Mas…]

Boy, these are fun times, huh? Everyone wants to either be Latino or market Latino things. Let’s all Hispanicize!

I mean, just look around! The GOP is embracing Latinos (har, har) and there are products everywhere like Tide Latino, Ford Latino, Clorox Latino, Latino socks, Latino water, Latino sunlight. Hell, there’s even a PETA Latino now! These Hispanic marketeers know no bounds!

Recently, Latina.com named the “30 most iconic Latino TV characters of the past 60 years.”

My only problem with that is their elastic definition of “Latino.” Many of their icon choices are either stereotypes or just plain questionable. They could have named their article “We’re reaching here, so bear with us, and buy some Latino Tide!”

I’ll run down a few of the more questionable picks and let you decide who makes the cut. Are they iconic? Are they Latino? Are they iconic Latinos?? Gasp! You be the judge. And for the love of Latino Jesus, make sure you buy some corporate Latino products while you’re at it. [Mas…]