MR. POCHO salutes Ford Motor Company for super chingon customer service and a sensible approach to NAFTA. ¡SALUDOS!
Mas…This is why MR. POCHO’s next truck will be a Ford F-Juan-50
Abuela with iPad terrorizes area family via Facebook
(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Rigoberto “Rigo” Chavez, 15, cringed in horror when he logged into Facebook Thursday morning and received a notification that his abuelita had once again commented on his status.
The high school junior had posted a status that read “$waaaag$” and Abuelita replied in ALL CAPS:
CACHORRITO ERES LA LUZ DE MI VIDA. CUIDATE MUCHO TE QUIERO
Hey Vato! Chuy needs to go but Angie is all ‘Chola Selfie’ (video)
It’s time for old girlfriends, secret tears and family dynamics in the latest episode of Hey Vato!
When Chuy’s sister Angie hogs the bathroom taking selfies, Smiley interrupts the subsequent sibling discussion with insight from author, artist and poet e.e. cummings.
Mas…Hey Vato! Chuy needs to go but Angie is all ‘Chola Selfie’ (video)
The first fitness facility just for Millennials: @#TheGym (video)
Millennials — this means you! Whether you need a fitness regime for your swiping fingers, interval training for Instagram, improved low-impact Twitter technique or advanced aerobic Facebook, you need to be @ #TheGym. Ask about February special prices for Mega-Gigabyte Torrent Training™, Skiing with Skype™, and Building Better Abs with Bitcoin™.
A tale told by an idiot, full of sound, fury and selfies (video)
He’s Mr. Selfie. He lives in London and apparently sleeps alone. Does he resemble anyone you know?
‘Sticks and Stones’ may break my bones but empathy (video)
When you compete for LIKEs and LOLs online, virtual Sticks and Stones can hurt like real body blows and peer pressure can be painful to resist. This Canadian video reveals one easy trick that can help you break on through to the sunshine of your love.
Will social media F*ckyer hashtag un-f*ck social media? (NSFW video)
That symbol we used to call the “number sign” or “pound sign” that they now call as “hash sign” — # — is ruining social media. All the cool kids have switched over to what we used to call the “percent sign” — % — to make social media a better place for you and me, especially me. Try the new % F*ckyer sign and find out yourself! [NSFW adult language.]
Street art from Italy: Facebook likes me, this I know (time-lapse video)
Italian artist MISTERTHOMS paints a mural in Italy.
Update Facebook Status: What’s on your mind? (video)
Is this the real life, is this just fantasy? On Facebook, you never know.
PREVIOUSLY ON FACEBOOK:
Three things we found on Facebook last week (toons)
Famed folksinger Janis Ian, burlesque lucha libre icon Lucha LaVoom and actor/director Lisa Rinna shared some collective wisdom on Facebook that we found very helpful. Maybe you will too!
Breaking: Fake Facebook post changes Fort Worth man’s life
 |
 |
 |
(PNS reporting from FORT WORTH, TX) Leon Ortiz (photo, center) was scrolling through his Facebook newsfeed last week when he saw a post that changed his life forever. The post, co-authored by former President Bill Clinton (photo, left) and pop star Kayne West (photo, right), celebrated the importance of following your dreams.
“You know, I think it was Fate — with a capital ‘F.’ It was 3:42 PM on a Thursday and I was feeling frustrated at my account manager job at an international insurance company. I felt a spiritual lightness I had never experienced before,” the Arlington Heights man told PNS.
“It was amazing, like all my ennui and weltschmerz was gone!”
Mas…Breaking: Fake Facebook post changes Fort Worth man’s life
Visionary behind Doritos Locos Tacos dies at 41 (photos + video)
Todd Mills, who came up with the idea for Doritos Locos Tacos, lost his battle with cancer on Thanksgiving. The Little Rock, Arkansas father of two was 41 (photo, above.)
Mills started the Facebook page “Taco Shells from Doritos Movement” in 2009, encouraging followers to “tell Frito-Lay that we demand nacho cheesy taco shells!”
On the page, Mills posted photoshopped images of well known figures including Albert Einstein with a cheesy taco shell in a thought bubble, Steve Jobs holding a Macbook with a cheesy taco shell on the screen and Chuck Norris doing a karate kick while holding a cheesy taco shell….
Mas…Visionary behind Doritos Locos Tacos dies at 41 (photos + video)
WTF Whopper: Mexicans have it your guey – at Burger King (photo,video)
Need a job? Live near Ephrata, Washington? Burger King has openings for people like you!
Huh? Whopper the fries is going on here? MSN Money reports:
Burger King has apologized after a photo of a billboard at one of its locations went viral.
The photo shows a Burger King billboard in Ephrata, Wash., that reads: “Now hiring. Must be Mexican.” Burger King said the billboard was edited by an angry employee who worked at the location last summer, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports.
Mas…WTF Whopper: Mexicans have it your guey – at Burger King (photo,video)
Where the clicks are: Top websites by country (infographic)
Google or Feisbuk? This cool infographic from the people at Information Geographies at the Oxford Internet Institute shows which website is most popular in each country in the Western Hemisphere. It looks like Cuba is still hanging out on MySpace.
Here’s the full world map:
Mas…Where the clicks are: Top websites by country (infographic)
The Pocho Ocho top favorite ways racists try to tell me off
It comes with the territory — when you tackle controversial issues you attract controversial responses. Or, as I like to call it, Crackpot Racist Hate Mail From Right Wing Nut Jobs (CRHMFRWNJ for short.)
Some of the messages scrawled on paper bags in crayon (and blood?) are mailed to various newspapers around the country that publish La Cucaracha and/or my editorial cartoons. Some post comments here on POCHO and assorted loons follow me from Twitter to Facebook to my blog to leave me droppings from their thought processes. No one follows them around with pooper escoopers, so I’m stuck with what they call in the sewage industry “solid waste” — mierda for you pochos.
I spent maybe 10 or 20 minutes going through the folder on my Mac desktop named Love_Letters, and came up with this list of my Pocho Ocho favorite insults:
8. Go back to Africa!
Mas…The Pocho Ocho top favorite ways racists try to tell me off
Online surge of Constitutional Law, Bible experts slows the Internets
(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) The Internets slowed to a virtual crawl yesterday as millions of experts in Constitutional Law and The Holy Bible took to Twitter and Facebook to educate ignorant netizens about the God-hating freedom-attacking Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage.
“It was definitely a brownout, dude,” according to 18-year-old Jaime “Twitchy” Loftwich, who runs the worldwide computer network from the basement of his mom’s home in Palo Alto. “Hella load,” he emailed PNS. “I haven’t seen ping times like that since Kim Kardashian was rushed to Cedars-Sinai!”
Mas…Online surge of Constitutional Law, Bible experts slows the Internets
Shocking video: Facebook updates a guy’s real life
True story! My cousin’s friend in Baltimore came back to his place after work and found out that Facebook had updated his real life! Luckily for us, he had a full sound and video crew there. Also maybe lighting and craft services.
Breaking: University of Phoenix admission thrills local woman
(PNS reporting from WAUKEGAN, IL) Erlinda Morales has wanted an MBA degree for years, but it wasn’t until a Facebook ad for the University of Phoenix popped into her newsfeed that her dream began to come true.
“All I had to do was click on the ad, fill out a form, and all of a sudden I’m in graduate school getting my Masters in Business Administration! This is the happiest day of my life!” she posted on a Facebook Status Update Sunday afternoon.
“They’re such a big deal, they have ads everywhere — not just any school would be able to advertise like that,” she bragged.
Mas…Breaking: University of Phoenix admission thrills local woman
Breaking: Miami woman reveals plans to quit Facebook
(PNS reporting from MIAMI) South Beach resident Christina Patricia Santiago is planning to leave Facebook on Friday, according to a Status Update she published Sunday night.
Responding to a question from Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, who asked Santiago “What’s on your mind?” when she logged into her account, the 32-year-old media buyer for a boutique advertising firm told 442 Facebook “friends” she does “not have time for this bullshit.”
“Nikki: I don’t care who Selena Gomez is seeing,” she wrote.
Stoner Latino student calls woman’s mom a ‘wetback’ on Facebook
(PNS reporting from SAN MARCOS, TX) Seventeen-year-old San Marcos High School senior Byron Chavez called someone’s mother a “wetback” in a comment on a Facebook photo yesterday — Mothers Day.
Chavez, the grandson of Mexican immigrants, used the W-word in response to a widely-circulated picture of a young woman at an immigration reform rally holding a sign reading “Fuck Weed. Legalize My Mom.”
Chavez posted “Fuck your wetback mom! Legalize Weed!” 30 minutes after his cousin Lauren Saucedo posted the image on her timeline .
“I was taken aback by his comment,” Saucedo emailed PNS. “Our grandparents were immigrants who came from Mexico looking for a better future.”
Mas…Stoner Latino student calls woman’s mom a ‘wetback’ on Facebook
The Guzman Show: Tio Lucho discovers el Feosbook (NSFW video)
Life with the Guzman family was already crazy, and then masked uncle Tio Lucho learned about Facebook in his ESL class. Will the Internets ever be the same? (NSFW language.)
My immigrant mom says ‘Yo quiero Feisbuk’ — what to do? (video)
She’s so cute, my old country Mexican mom, says Rick Izquieta, but she wants to get on “Feisbuk.” No way, Jose!
It’s OK to like ‘ass & titties,’ but sharing on Facebook? (NSFW video)
YouTuber Oh Em Gee It’s Eddie G has some good advice for all you Facebook people. Liking is one thing, sharing is something else entirely. (NSFW language.)
By day he’s a banker, at night: ‘Facebook Gangsta’ (NSFW video)
There he is at the office, in his cube, in his suit, with the numbers, the straight-ahead business. At night he’s a player, a Facebook Gangsta. (NSFW lyrics.)
Ñewsweek: Joe vs girl, Mitt vs you, Adidas steps in it, CT OKs MM
Arizona’s notorious Sheriff Joe Arpaio tried to save his flailing career with an arrest of a six-year-old cartel leader, GOP nominee wannabe Mitt Romney totally tripped over his tootsies again, the Nutmeg State joined the future for lonche with the approval of Medical Menudo (MM), Adidas stepped in it big time with their slavery-themed sneakers and Facebook gave everyone a new finger.
These POCHO stories broke the news this week. We’ve got the links and more:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Joe vs girl, Mitt vs you, Adidas steps in it, CT OKs MM
Facebook rolls out new ‘Enhanced Liking’ feature to all users
(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) Social networking giant Facebook rolled out a new feature to its nearly one billion users today: Enhanced Liking, which CEO Mark Zuckerberg says gives users the option to waste even more time on the site.
The current Like version allows users to give a thumb’s up on their friends’ status updates, photos, and just about anything else they do on the Web. Enhanced Liking means a user can Like a Like, and so on, in endless iterations.
Zuckerberg said the concept of Enhanced Liking came to him years ago when he was got lost driving to see his friend and mentor Steve Jobs at Apple headquarters. “The address, dude, the address,” he said.
Zuckerberg finally made it to Apple, located at 1 Infinite Loop in Cupertino.
Mas…Facebook rolls out new ‘Enhanced Liking’ feature to all users
Mathematician: Chicanos have only one degree of separation
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) All people have six degrees of separation? Hells, nah! A new study by an area mathematician begs to differ.
“The truth is that, for Chicanos, there is only a single degree of separation,” says UCLA Ph.D. mathematics candidate Beto Pérez, of Painter Avenue in Whittier. “I’ve done a global calculation based on a plethora of factors and concluded that journalist Frigyes Karinthy’s theory of the general population does not apply to Chicanos.”
Pérez published his findings in article and photo essay titled, “Inlakesh: Chicano Identity One-On-One,” in the June issue of National Geographic.
“First of all, most Chicanos have too many primos,” he told PNS, “and therefore there are never too many people you won’t know. When you add in homies and rucas, plus tíos and tías, plus people you start calling “compadres” five minutes after you meet them, you never even get to the point where more than three degrees of separation are required,” Pérez said.
Mas…Mathematician: Chicanos have only one degree of separation
Facebook IPO #FAIL cost you money? Try MexicanMitt’s Feisbuk
Facebook stock is foundering and cash-heavy investors are looking for a better place to lose their online money. That’s why MexicanMitt Romney is launching his own social media site – Feisbuk.
POCHO asked the nominee wannabe one question: What does Feisbuk have that Facebook doesn’t? Here’s his reply:
Mas…Facebook IPO #FAIL cost you money? Try MexicanMitt’s Feisbuk
Around Our Town: Ñews from the Neighborhood
Basketball: The undefeated Pocho High Fighting Santos meet the Chupacabras of Don Fernando Valley High for the state hoops semifinals next week in Rancho Cucamonga. Booster Club president Cal Ifas wants to remind fans the vuvuzelas have arrived and you can pick up your order at his auto upholstery shop weekdays and Saturdays. Califas Tuck y Roll is in the Pocho Industrial Park behind the Tapatio plant.
Tourism: The El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District has once again garnered a mention in Zagat’s Off the Beaten Path Travel Guide: “A sketchy tattoo parlor, Lupe’s Mistic Yerberia and a car battery recycling joint take you back to an earlier time, a time that wasn’t really all that good, actually, but if that’s what you’re looking for, the El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District has it all.”
Are Castro and Chavez planning KomradPad tablet and CheOS?
(PNS reporting from EL OTRO LADO) Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez and Cuba’s Fidel Castro are developing their own communist tablet computer, the KomradPad, and a custom commie operating system tentatively dubbed CheOS, according to industry sources.
Initial apps are said to include a Zynga-style game called Collective Farmville, a first-person shooter named Comrade In Arms: Road to a Workers’ Paradise and a socialist media app copied from Facebook called Secret Police Book, which, like FB, makes every status update, link and photo available to guardians of the State’s security.
Mas…Are Castro and Chavez planning KomradPad tablet and CheOS?