See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago?
We’ve got eight things right here:
8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date
7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly
6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Naco Bell
The signature foods of Chanukah, which begins tonight, are potato latkes — as prepared by Hebrew homeboys Jaquann and Luis — and sufganiyot, Israeli-style donuts. Both foods, tu sabes, are fried in oil, commemorating the milagro at the heart of the Chanukah story.
Which is why, two years ago, before we thought of Mexican Turducken-style gag dishes we could attribute to Rick Bayless, Mexikosher chef (and Chopped winner) Katsuji Tanabe created a nopales and kosher carnitas burrito stuffed inside a donut/sufganiyot. Really.
The Jewish holiday of Chanukah חנוכה starts Wednesday night, so Hebrew hermanos Jaquann and Luis prepare potato latkes (pancakes) one of the season’s signature treats. This year Chanukah and Thanksgiving coincide, so all the Pochodores wish you a Gobble Tov! (Totally NSFW adult language.)
PREVIOUSLY ON HOMEBOY HEBREWS:
Mas…Hebrew homeboys make Chanukah potato latkes (NSFW video)
Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I no give ju recetas (recipes for ju pochos) for a gwhile. I was closed like the gobernment. Mijo’s daddy no send the cheques for the mijo support. I mad.
Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old man for ju pochos). The viejo had more dinero and drive a troka (thas truck for ju pochos) with plastic bolitas hanging from the bumper. Oh gwell.
In Mexico we say mijo’s daddy got put horns. Mijo’s daddy cry and cry but he no give me my mijo support cheque. I tell him my house is no LenchaCare. He need to pay. He say need money for divorce the eskank. I have to go to the offices to get him to pay.
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How I make turkey in Mole Poblano for mijo
This TV commercial from McDonald’s in South Africa promotes a “Mexican burger” with “fiery jalapeño” hot sauce. Cactuses and sombreros not included. No burros were harmed in the making of this commercial.
PREVIOUSLY ON SOUTH AFRICAN MEXICAN FOOD:
Mas…Mickey D’s in South Africa has a ‘Mexican burger’ for you (video)
Someone — maybe you — will watch this weird stop motion animation Dias De Los Muertos by Scott Renk and say, “Some people have too much time on their hands” to which we say, “Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently…”
Here’s an idea. Let’s decide what is the best food in each of the United Estates and make a big infographic.
What? Is that the voice of (Day of the) Dead Steve Jobs? What’s that, Steve? There’s a map for that?
Coming in at Numero Tres is a puro Califas burrito, known to non-locals as a “Misson Burrito.” Yes, I’m on a mission — I want a carne asada burrito ahorita:
New Mexico gets in the Top Ten with a stacked enchilada with green (Hatch, natch) chile:
Mas…There’s a map for that: Best foods in every state (infographic)
(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Black coffee, menudo, In-N-Out, mota, maybe even a little hair of the dog — all common hangover remedies, right? But according to a study from Mexican culinary genius Rick Bayless, a new discovery might have them all beat: 7-Up.
“People have helplessly suffered hangovers forever and without any kind of cure. Well, I have discovered the single greatest hangover cure of all-time and can back it up with scientific evidence. No one has ever thought of this before…it’s 7-Up, my friends. You’re welcome!” Bayless told PNS.
Mas…Breaking: Chef Rick Bayless invents ultimate hangover cure
Henry Phillips, who grew up in New Jersey and got once beaned by a rock his brother threw, prepares Henry’s Anytime Chili for One, but first he needs to convert from metric, and then down-size the family-sized recipe because he’s only making dinner for himself. That involves dividing by seven, which is easier said than done. [NSFW language.]
Somewhere in Texas, it takes a village for a tortilla chip fiesta!
PREVIOUSLY ON TEXAS FOOD THEATRE:
Mas…Texas ants work together to take tortilla chip back to the casa (video)
This is an epic rant by @LuckyShirt, who says he is not really THAT angry:
Have you ever been to Earth? On Earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat.
Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends.
Mas…Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito: Have you ever been to Earth?
Some kids may be back at school but it’s still Summer. And there’s no summer without elotes, fresh and hot from the grill.
It’s no secret that Americans love Mexican food — Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano’s book Taco USA celebrated that aspect of the Reconquista last year.
But not all of the United Estates is created equal, and in some areas of the country there is a shocking Mexican restaurant shortage!
There are more Mexican restaurants than Italian bistros, Chinese kitchens, chicken rotisseries, or seafood shacks in the US. We’re talking about no less than 38,000 Mexican restaurants dispersed all across the American landscape (as of 2011).
Mas…How does your state rate in the Mexican restaurant wars?
Polanco, they say, is the Beverly Hills of Mexico DF, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t illegal taco carts on the street. They serve trendy tacos de guisados to area workers during the day, Daniel Hernandez reports, and to partying pinches borrachos at night.
POCHO’s Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón (also known as @SaraChicaD on the Twitter) is very particular about the foods she likes. Here are her Pocho Ocho faves…
At the Orange County Fair in Costa Mesa, there’s a tempting challenge for manly men — finish a gargantuan pile of fried dough (AKA a Mexican funnel cake) in 30 minutes and this exciting taste sensation is yours for free. It’s a $20 dessert, weighs five pounds and comes with whipped cream and strawberries. Of course, it’s easier said than done, as this video shows.
(PNS reporting from ALAMEDA) If the Doritos Locos Tacos from Taco Bell are not satisfying your diarrheal needs, don’t worry!
The chain is introducing a chef Rick Bayless-inspired burrito that features Flamin’ Hot Fritos corn chips as a summer-only item until early August.
The burrito, which will retail for 99 cents, has rice, warm nacho cheese, beef, sour cream, and Flamin’ Hot Fritos corn chips cultivated by Bayless himself, deep in the villages of Oaxaca.
Mas…Breaking: Taco Bell unveils new Rick Bayless-inspired burritos
It’s not bogus like the taco copter or merely a proof of concept like the flying burrito bomber. It’s not a product that hasn’t shipped yet, like the 3D tortilla printer. The flying hamburger copter is here; actually it’s over there, in London. As a matter of fact, if you’re in London now, order a burger to go with everything on it to be delivered to the POCHO office. When they ask for money, tell ’em Wimpy sent you.
Here in San Angeles there would be no restaurants without Mexicans in the kitchen. But they’re not cooking what you think.
Wikipedia: The [totally cute] axolotl, or Mexican salamander (Ambystoma mexicanum) is a neotenic salamander, closely related to the tiger salamander.
Larvae of this species fail to undergo metamorphosis, so the adults remain aquatic and gilled.
It is also called ajolote [ɑːhɒˈlɔte] (which is also a common name for different types of salamander).
The species originates from numerous lakes, such as Lake Xochimilco underlying Mexico City.
Axolotls are used extensively in scientific research due to their ability to regenerate limbs.
They are also totally delicious when deep-fried in Osaka, Japan:
Mas…Fried axolotl, you’re the juan, you make dinner full of yum (photos)
(PNS reporting from PHILADELPHIA) American singer Jon Secada has begun to crawl out of the ground in the Mid-Atlantic area.
The now 50-year-old Secada reemerges every 13 or 17 years somewhere in the eastern half of the United States.
The last time Cuban-born Secada went underground was in 1996, two years after releasing Heart, Soul and a Voice. During his absence he somehow managed to quietly release two greatest hit albums and two Christmas albums, both in English and Spanish.
After re-emerging, Jon Secada typically sheds his crunchy brown exoskeleton and will spend a few weeks of adulthood mating and laying eggs in tree branches. He will also release yet another greatest hits or holiday-themed collection, definitely in Spanish.
(PNS reporting from LONDON) Queen Elizabeth II of England — depite being briefly hospitalized with a stomach infection — has endorsed the stampede of European carnivores who say horsemeat in your beefburger is no big deal.
Joining the German cabinet minister who advocated giving horsemeat-tainted products to poor people and the Huffington Post’s LatinoVoices, which published a Cuban horsemeat recipe, the 86-year-old Queen put her stamp of approval on the new “austerity” regime:
Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: Sick Queen Elizabeth says horsemeat is fine
Since we’ve established that Americans and Canuckians eat burritos in outer espace, we asked our French astronaut friends what was cooking. “It’s a small plate for a man,” they replied. “Blanquette de veau.” [Video by Corentin Charron.]
When you have no gravity but want a sammich on the International Space Station, what’s a hungry astronaut to do? Canuckian spaceman Chris Hadfield makes outer space burritos with peanut butter and honey.
WAIT! WE HAVE ANOTHER SPACE BURRITO VIDEO:
Mas…Canadian astronaut makes peanut butter and honey burrito (video)
The Jewish holiday of Chanukah חנוכה starts Saturday night, so Hebrew hermanos Jaquann and Luis prepare potato latkes (pancakes) one of the season’s signature treats. Remember: Chanukah is the Festival of Lights, bitches. (Totally NSFW.)
(PNS reporting from LAREDO) Tia Chita will not be hosting the annual holiday season tamalada at her house this year, she revealed to her family last night. As a matter of fact, she told stunned participants at her niece’s baby shower, she never wants to make another tamal in her life.
“First of all, I’m sick of all the gossip!” she shouted, pacing around the room quicker and quicker the more excited she became.
“I know the tamaladas are where all the comadres are supposed to catch up on ‘family news’ and everything, but did you ever think that I really don’t care who’s sleeping with whom and who’s going to have a baby? Ya estoy vieja, I’ve been a million weddings already!”
Chita is sick of everyone coming over to eat her food and then leaving dirty napkins everywhere, staining her nice couches with tamal grease, she said. Sometimes the bathroom gets stopped up, and she has to have the neighbor come over with the plumber’s snake. “He’s not a smell-good plumber,” she grimaced.
Mas…Tía Chita: ‘It’s final! I’ve absolutely, positively made my last tamal!’
See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago? We’ve got eight things right here:
8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date
7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly
6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Fieri’s Tipi
(PNS reporting from BOSTON) With the election totally over, Ann Romney is free to pursue her true passion: cooking dinner every night for her large family and sharing Romney recipes.
Here’s exclusive preview of the Breakfast Club section of Ann’s upcoming food blog The Electric Stove:
This is a very old family recipe dating back generations!
Little known fact: my Great Aunt Jebadisa was a leading pioneer in the Women’s Pre-Sliced White Bread Movement. When I think about the sacrifices she made, slicing each piece individually and toasting each slice by candle fire, I nearly break down and weep.
Mas…Exclusive preview of Ann Romney’s Food Blog: The Electric Stove
Someone — maybe you — will watch this weird stop motion animation Dias De Los Muertos by Scott Renk and say, “Some people have too much time on their hands” to which we say, “Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently…”
