food

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Mexican flag three-color salsa for El Grito

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Happy Day of the Mexican Independence!

Is Tia Lencha here. Today we make a salsa that is the colors of the Mexican bandera (flag for you pochos).

Tia Lencha is all dress in her green, white, and red to celebrate El Grito, but all of her pocho and gringo friends is a little confuse. They are no in the streets today, wearing the big sombreros, fake bigotes (mustaches for you pochos), and drinking like pescados (fish for you pochos.)

This is the day for the Mexicans to celebrate 200 years free from Christopher Colombus and his amigos, and Indians turning on their own people, and diseases, and dying by the millions, and survive only to be treated like caca by the colonizers.

Thas a lot to celebrate if ju ask Tia Lencha.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Mexican flag three-color salsa for El Grito

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Rajas con crema if you don’t espeak English

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Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Today I give you the recipe for Rajas con Crema. This was inspire by a trip to the store that sells Mexican things like dancing papier mâché skeletons, Frida Kahlo key chains, overpriced things for the wall. You know, is like Mexican Disneyland. I went in looking for a rebozo to give as a present for my comadre’s birthday.

I find the skinny hipster girl behind the cash register and I say, “Do you have any rebozos?”

“What’s that?” she say.

Anyone who knows Tia Lencha knows that she wanted to give the hipster girl a coco in la cabeza. “What do you mean what’s that? Is…a shawl…like you call it in English.”

“Oh. No,” she say.

“No what?”

“We don’t have those here,” she say. And she turn around like we were finish.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Rajas con crema if you don’t espeak English

Pocho Ocho fascinating hidden powers of Latino food!

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Previously on POCHO:

But is that the end of the fascinating food factorama? No guey! Check out these eight other hidden powers of Comida Latina:

8. You can use beans to power a moped
7. Vegetarianism is a gateway to loose American values
6. Eating a boiled duck egg fetus cures impotence
5. You can help end world hunger by eating more, mijo

Mas…Pocho Ocho fascinating hidden powers of Latino food!

When you can’t bear life without nachos, you need nachos tattoos

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Some people can’t get through the morning with a cup of coffee, and others, apparently, can’t get through the day without delicious crunchy oozing-with-queso nachos:

We love nachos. Duh. We want to show it on our arms, legs, and face. Stains are not permanent enough, while permanent tattoos are against our religions.

So they made temporary nachos “tattoo” decals.

Would you get them? Wear them?

Thanks to BoingBoing for the link!

Protestors target Monsanto’s plans for soy ‘chicharrones’ (updated)

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(PNS reporting from MISSOURI) Busloads of pro-pig activists from Texas converged on Monsanto’s St. Louis headquarters here today to protest the chemical/agricultural mega-corporation’s plans to produce extruded soy flaps meant to replace natural chicharrones.

Bearing signs that read “NO PORK NO PEACE,” “WE WANT LARD FOR OUR MONEY” and “SAY NO TO SOY CHICHARRONES,” the so-called Occupy Monsanto movement plans to shut down traffic around the corporate campus until they get a response from Monsanto. [UPDATE: MONSANTO STATEMENT BELOW.]

The group was confronted by counter demonstrators from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) who carried signs proclaiming “PIGS ARE PEOPLE TOO.” Some scantily-clad female PETA protestors threatened a sex strike to protest actual pig parts consumption. “WANT BOINK? NO OINK!” read one sign.

Mas…Protestors target Monsanto’s plans for soy ‘chicharrones’ (updated)

Letter to the Editor: Thank you, organic cocks/hens as appropriate

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This Letter to the Editor came in via our SUBMIT link. We’d like to hear from you, too!

Dear organic chicken or chickens (or cocks and/or hens) who were the source of the two thighs I ate last night:

Thank you for your lives.

I guess it is presumptuous to write to you since we never met when you were alive and now you’re dead and I ate you. Actually, I don’t know really know WHO to thank since it’s unclear if these were a matched set of thighs (left and right) from a single chicken or whether they were two thighs from two chickens and now that I think about it I didn’t even check to see if they were left or right and how would I know?

Mas…Letter to the Editor: Thank you, organic cocks/hens as appropriate

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Make all your beans come true

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Hi. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I haven been on the blogue. I don’t like to complains, but I have a son, and varicose veins. But I have to tell you about when I was making a pot of beans and I remember the time when I help my hijo make his dream come true.

It was summer and I was still with mijo’s father. Mijo and I stayed at home during the vacations from school. Mijo say he was bore being at the house, so I say, “why don’t we make a project?”

Mijo, who was six year old, say, “Can we make something?”

Oh! So cute! I say, “Yes, mijo, what do you want to make?”

He thought for a little bit and say, “I want to make the perfect pedo.”

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Make all your beans come true

Ñewsweek: New Mexico wants tourists — light-skinned tourists

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State tourist official does the New Mexican hat dance when a reporter asks about the casting call advertisement

This POCHO ñewsweek is brought to you in living — and dying — color.

In the Southwest, New Mexico’s tourist board is casting a commercial to promote visits to the state. Who do they want to play the tourists in their commercial? “Caucasians and light-skinned Hispanics.”

And in the Southeast, Florida cowers in the Spotlight o’ Shame as the country asks why an unarmed teenager was killed by a self-styled neighborhood watch vigilante.

These are the stories that made the ñews this week:

Mas…Ñewsweek: New Mexico wants tourists — light-skinned tourists

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: It’s Michelada time!

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Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. My recipe today is inspire by a gringo who saw me drinking a Michelada with my comadre Mari Carmen cause it was Comadre’s Night Out. The gringo tole me, “Escuse me, is that a margarita?”

I wanted to say: No, is a Michelada, menso! But I think thas not classy and I put my hair all spray so I look classy. So I no say the menso part, even though I know he don’t know what menso means.

And you know what? In that momen, I had a revelation, like when Dios or tequila speaks to you…and I know… is my responsibility to teash the pochos about Micheladas.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: It’s Michelada time!

Obama aide’s ‘Chimichanga’ Tweet – racist or not?

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Giant esteak chimichanga

In what’s been termed “the tweet heard ’round the world,” Pres. Barack Obama’s campaign manager Jim Messina tweeted today that a line from a Washington Post editorial— “The chimichanga? It may be the only thing Republicans have left to offer Latinos” — was the “line of the day.”

Consequently, and in short order, Republicans began attacking Messina (not Latino) and lefties in general for being racist, insensitive, not offering Latinos much in the way of policies anyway, and much more. Repercussions of the tweet, however, reach much further than the Twitterverse.

Mas…Obama aide’s ‘Chimichanga’ Tweet – racist or not?

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Nopales for gringos y pochos

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Gwell, I am writing this blogue porque my son said that we went on the google because he was doing a reporte for school.

Y you know what happened when he typed “Mexican Chef”? He said a white guy from Oklahoma popped up first, like he was the most important chef in Mexico or something. So, he tole me I can make better tamales than this gringo with a white mustache and I tole him, yeah, I can.

My pobre son is a little pocho, so him and other pochitos out there have to learn how to make the real food from our homeland. None of that nouveau Latin cuisine shit. My comadre tole me I’m too Mexican for the Food Network. I tole her I don’t want to be on camera anygway cuz I hate my arms.

My blogue is not gonna be call “Spicy It Up” or “Super Delicioso” or nothing like that. There is no going to be no salsa music (whish is Cuban by the gway) playing in the background. Is just me, Tia Lencha, in my cocina with my apron and my son typing on his computer.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Nopales for gringos y pochos

Ñewsy Week: Daniel D Portado returns, AL ♥ CA y much more

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A busy ñewsweek brought the return to glory of the original self-deportationist, Daniel D. Portado, who, it turns out, is a fictional character created by POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz; an Alabama plan to import Canadians to replace the immigrant labor that used to keep the state running; and militant MEChA murmurings about the Lack of Visible Latinos in the hit BBC/PBS series Downton Abbey.

Other top stories included First Lady Michelle Obama’s partnership with Caribbean food conglomerate Goya and the astounding “installation art” of Ramiro Gomez, Jr.  Here’s our big list:

Mas…Ñewsy Week: Daniel D Portado returns, AL ♥ CA y much more

Am I a racist because I want to date Latino guys?

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During my seemingly eternal quest for love, I’ve been accused  more than once of being “racist” for mostly dating Latinos.

Part of this is totally my fault and the result of my whining and chiflazón. There’s  a misunderstanding about what motivates me and other people like me, who are interested primarily in dating other Latinos.

First and foremost, let me say that I have dated mostly pochos like me, but I’ve also dated Cubans, white men, and Asian men, finally coming to the conclusion that all men on this planet are idiots when they are in their 20s. Some of my complaints, which other Latinas share,  include:  They want to get married too soon, or they’re divorced with kids young, they’re too short, as you become more educated there are less Latinos around you, they’re scared of educated/professional women. The list goes on.

Mas…Am I a racist because I want to date Latino guys?