(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Famed Spanish art-restoring abuelita Cecilia Gimenez has decided to visit La Basilica here, which houses the famed image of La Virgen de Guadalupe.

The fading portrait miraculously appeared on Aztec Indian Juan Diego’s robe 500 years ago.

The image needed some touching up, said Gimenez, who waited until the Basilica closed and somehow pried open the sealed display case and did a quick restoration.

“It looks so much better now,” said Gimenez from the Mexico City jail, adding, “I just don’t know why Jesus would appear to some Indio dressed like a woman.”

Upon seeing the restoration, the Mexican government quickly awarded Gimenez the Aztec Order of the Eagle medal.

Full image here: [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from AFRICA) As the Muslim world erupts in grisly violence over a third-rate movie trailer, the Christian world is preparing to be rocked by the discovery of a new monkey species in Central Africa — a species that eerily resembles the “restored” Spanish Jesus fresco that has been sarcastically dubbed as Ecce Mono (behold the monkey.)

Religious leaders around the globe are interpreting the resemblance of the monkey to the Spanish Jesus fresco as a sign from God, although they are not exactly sure what the sign means. [Mas…]