Dear Abuelita,
My question is simple: Should I dye my hair black? I am starting to get white hairs and a streak in the front. My original color is black. I’m 49 so it is not premature. It just seems everyone does it until age 60 or 70, like an old lady’s right of passage, and one old aunt even said I better do it quick before my fiance decides not to marry me!
Socorro, Socorro! Mis pelos estan cambiando plata

Dear Mix ‘n’ Match Carpet and Drapes,
It’s preguntas like this that make me want to pull the white pelos off your cabeza with my bare hands. What’s wrong with white hair? George Washington didn’t dye his hair and Martha married him anyway. Any fiance who would dump you over a few canas isn’t worth your time.

I don’t care if you’re already beyond your years as a catch. I hope you’re not planning on wearing white for your wedding. Sin verguenza! But, if you must dye your hair, just remember to dye your carpet the same color.
Adoringly, Tu Abuelita [Mas…]

Dear Abuelita,
How can I know if my GF has no boyfriend other than me?
Signed, To be honest

Dear To Be or Not To Be,
What kind of pregunta is this, do you think I’m a Magic 8 Ball? I may not be able to give the answer but I can give you a few tips to find out for yourself.

You can volunteer to do her laundry and then do a scratch-and-sniff with her calzones to see if you detect the aroma of another vato. If that doesn’t work then you can buy a wig and fake bigote then get a rental car and do a sancho stakeout in front of her place. [Mas…]