gold


RUPTLY, the Russian fake news and propaganda video channel, features endless news clips about how everything that’s not Russia is going to Hell in a hoopty.

This new video introduces a publicity-savvy chef who seeks to entice rich assholes into paying $25,000 for gold-leaf-garnished tacos (Kobe beef, lobster, Beluga caviar, foie gras, extra pretension included, guacamole extra charge) in Cabo San Lucas.

It looks like two folks chowed down on the admittedly beautiful tacos for the cameras, but were they ringers or customers? If you spend $25,000 staying the Presidential Suite, the tacos are free, so that’s something.

RUPTLY explains and translates: [Mas…]

¡Feliz Dia de Los Magos! And Epiphany. And Dia de Los Tres Reyes.

chistes-de-los-reyes

En Ingles for you pochos: The first documented case of stage names…And what do you guys think of ‘Melchior, Gaspar, and Balthazar’? It just feels like ‘Hugo, Paco, and Luis’ lack punch.” [Mas…]

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cucaeurorefugees

Sweet Los Reyes Magos cartoons en Español — just for you

by Cartoonistas January 6, 2016 Cartoons
Thumbnail image for Sweet Los Reyes Magos cartoons  en Español — just for you

¡Feliz Dia de Los Magos! And Epiphany. And Dia de Los Tres Reyes. En Ingles for you pochos: The first documented case of stage names…And what do you guys think of ‘Melchior, Gaspar, and Balthazar’? It just feels like ‘Hugo, Paco, and Luis’ lack punch.”

[Mas…]

La Cucaracha: What color is this governor? (toon)

by Lalo Alcaraz March 2, 2015 Cartoons
Thumbnail image for La Cucaracha: What color is this governor? (toon)
[Mas…]

Valentine passions run hot in ‘Aztec Gold Dating Game’ (video)

by Victor Payan February 13, 2015 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Valentine passions run hot in ‘Aztec Gold Dating Game’ (video)

Passions run hot in the lucharrific Aztec Gold Dating Game featuring the Glorious Gabacho, Gabe “The Babe” and filmmaker Erik Bosse; all three are vying to be the valentine of a smoldering San Antonio señorita. [Aztec Gold Dating Game by me, Victor Payan.]

[Mas…]

Good news? Gold tops cocaine as Peru’s top illegal export (video)

by Moctezuma Cortés December 9, 2014 El Now
Thumbnail image for Good news? Gold tops cocaine as Peru’s top illegal export (video)

Peru, the world’s largest producer of cocaine, has a new booming illicit business: gold, according to FUSION: Illegal gold mining has surged in the South American country, the world’s fifth biggest gold exporter. A new Univision Investigative report shows that the criminal organizations that traffic illegal drugs have diversified and are now in the business […]

[Mas…]

Legend La India Maria returns as ‘La Hija de Moctezuma’ (trailer)

by Moctezuma Cortés May 6, 2014 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Legend La India Maria returns as ‘La Hija de Moctezuma’ (trailer)

ESPANOL: La India María debe encontrar a toda costa en lo recóndito de una montaña, El Mágico Espejo Negro de Tezcatlipoca, pues el espíritu de su bisabuelo Moctezuma Xocoyotzin así lo ha ordenado para evitar la destrucción de México. Alonso, un atractivo arqueólogo español, Bianchi, un tramposo busca-tesoros y Brígida Troncoso — una ambiciosa gobernadora, […]

[Mas…]

Can underwater robots find Montezuma’s gold in Utah?

by ROD ESTERLING February 21, 2014 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Can underwater robots find Montezuma’s gold in Utah?

There’s $3,000,000,000 worth of Aztec gold at the bottom of Three Lakes pond in Kanab, Utah and movie producer Mike Wiest along with landowner Lon Child are determined to get it, even if they need underwater robotic help. For 100 years, locals have believed Montezuma’s treasure lies at the end of a tunnel below the […]

[Mas…]

Valentine passions run hot in ‘Aztec Gold Dating Game’ (video)

by Victor Payan February 14, 2013 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Valentine passions run hot in ‘Aztec Gold Dating Game’ (video)

Passions run hot in the lucharrific Aztec Gold Dating Game featuring the Glorious Gabacho, Gabe “The Babe” and filmmaker Erik Bosse; all three are vying to be the valentine of a smoldering San Antonio señorita. [Aztec Gold Dating Game by me, Victor Payan.]

[Mas…]

PNS*Hot*Flash: ‘No Mames’ enters U.S. lexicon at San Ysidro

by Victor Payan January 24, 2013 Cultura
Thumbnail image for PNS*Hot*Flash: ‘No Mames’ enters U.S. lexicon at San Ysidro

(PNS reporting from DE EFE) This just in: On this day in 1992, the term “No Mames” first entered the United States at the San Ysidro port of entry on a t-shirt worn by Alex Lora during El Tri‘s historic first American tour.

[Mas…]

Mitt Romney’s Cayman Islands hot tub house party (NSFW video)

by ERMA GERD October 26, 2012 Cartoons
Thumbnail image for Mitt Romney’s Cayman Islands hot tub house party (NSFW video)

Mitt is the MC with the moneh, byotch! (NSFW at all.)

[Mas…]

Mexico wins soccer goooooooold! and sends message to Brazil (video)

by Victor Payan August 11, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Mexico wins soccer goooooooold! and sends message to Brazil (video)

Mexico went all Montezuma’s Revenge on Brazil in today’s Olympic soccer bout and is bringing some Aztec Gold back to Tenochtitlan! Mexico scored a savage goal in the first minute of the game and set the tone for this mythic battle between the Tryannosaurus Rex and Stegosaurus of world soccer. It was brutal. It was epic. […]

[Mas…]

Dear Dr. Dinero: What should I do with this large cash settlement?

by DR. DANILO DINERO, MBA July 23, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Dear Dr. Dinero: What should I do with this large cash settlement?

Dear Dr. Dinero: I recently received a large cash settlement (six figures) after my Geo Metro was totalled at Melrose and La Cienega by Kim Kardashian’s shoe concierge. After I pay off the remaining bills, I’ll have $100K in cash. What should I do with the money? A Man Named Jed Dear Jed: Thank you […]

[Mas…]

Searching for Eldorado’s City of Gold, modern ‘goldbugs’ infest AZ

by Moctezuma Cortés March 20, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Searching for Eldorado’s City of Gold, modern ‘goldbugs’ infest AZ

(PNS reporting from THE HATE STATE OF ARIZONA) It’s a mystery from history that’s too shiny to die: Where exactly is Eldorado, the famed City of Gold built by ancient Aztlanians and hidden from the brutal “conquistadors?” A  swarm of recession-smacked out-of-towners asked the question again last week in Yuma County, AZ. The answer included […]

[Mas…]