jan brewja

superbrewerFormer Arizona Governor Jan Brewja is predicting Donald Trump will win in the Hate State elections because Latinos won’t vote.

“Nah,” Brewer said in an interview with the Boston Globe. “They don’t get out and vote. They don’t vote.”

What else does she foresee? Here are her Pocho Ocho Mas Loco Predictions:

8. Pigs will fly.

7. When nasty women stop provoking the average guy with slutty clothes, rapes will stop.

6. If regulators approve the AT&T-Time Warner merger, the cable guy will actually arrive between 10am and 2pm. [Mas…]

sheriffjoeoinkMaricopa County Arizona $heriff Joe Arpaio is in big legal trouble and is asking supporters to help.

Arpaio said he doesn’t have the money for attorneys, adding that he feels “targeted” by the immigration rights groups that have sued him to stop what they say are racist policies targeting Latinos, according to the Los Angeles Times. [Mas…]

newchavez(PNS reporting from TUCSON) Cesar Chavez — noted American farm worker, labor leader and civil rights activist — is back from the dead and running for the congressional seat being vacated by retiring Rep. Ed Pastor (D-AZ).

“I will do just about anything to win in Arizona’s heavily Hispanic 7th Congressional District,” Chavez said in a press release, “including rising from the grave if that’s what it takes.”

A Chavez spokesman said the newly-registered Democratic candidate (until recently a two-time Republican loser) had been “flooded with calls” and was no longer speaking to the press, but if he did decide to answer questions, he would not discuss how he came back from the dead or what the afterlife is like. [Mas…]

justbrewerbigArizona Governor Jan Brewer won’t run again, she announced Wednesday, but said her retirement as governor won’t put an end to her dreams.

“A mule is an animal with long funny ears,” she told an audience at a school in Glendale, AZ,  “she kicks up at anything she hears. Her back is brawny and her brain is weak, she’s just plain stupid with a stubborn streak. So when I walk out of this school, I’ll still remain a stupid mule.”

There are Pocho Ocho items on her bucket list, Brewja said:

8. Realize her dream of starting a clothing optional retreat with Sheriff Joe Arpaio

7. Spend more time with her coven

6. Convince George Lucas to cast her as Evil Yoda in the next Star Wars movie [Mas…]

Behold, The Hectors©, bestowed for Excellence in Mockability.

The Hectors© are named for POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz’ cousin Hector (photo), who is excellent at ruining family gatherings, especially when he has downed his third 12-pack. He hasn’t seen a film since Blood In, Blood Out.

And the Hector© goes to:

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cucastopandfrisk

Now showing: ‘The Arizona Chainsaw Massacre’ (toon)

by ERIC J. GARCIA February 20, 2013 Cartoons
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Caption this photo: [Edward James Olmos and Friend(s)]

by Lalo Alcaraz February 4, 2013 El Now
Thumbnail image for Caption this photo: [Edward James Olmos and Friend(s)]

Caption this photo in the comments section below. Reportedly it was posted to Twitter by AZ Cardinals’ wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald.

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Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s new plan: Arm AZ kids with grenade launchers

by Santino J. Rivera December 31, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) Last week, Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne proposed putting a gun in the hands of at least one kindergartner in every school and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is running with the idea. “America’s toughest sheriff” wants a grenade launcher for every student. According to Sheriff Joe, after he puts armed posse members near schools, he […]

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Top Pendejos of 2012: AZ’s Gov. Jan Brewer and Sheriff Joe Arpaio

by EDUARDO BURRO December 17, 2012 El Now
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We tried to pick just one Top Pendejo of 2012 but we ended up with two, both from the Hate State of Arizona: Gov. Jan Brewja and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. The witchy woman has taken every opportunity to lie, defame, harass and impede President Obama, Mexican-American Arizonans, a woman’s right to choose, Dreamers’ […]

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Where in the &*[email protected]# is Jan Brewer? The Pocho Ocho places…

by Especial Correspondents December 4, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Where in the &*+@# is Jan Brewer? The Pocho Ocho places…

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer is MISSING. Before you uncork the champagne, and before she comes back from her one-week vanishing, here’s the Pocho Ocho places Jan Brewer COULD BE: 8. At the Rawlings factory getting her skin re-laced 7. In Georgia filming the lead zombie role in “Walking Dead” 6. At a private correctional prison junket […]

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Sheriff Joe gears up for tough re-election battle, reveals secret weapon

by Santino J. Rivera September 14, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from PHOENIX) Arizona’s toughest sheriff, Joe Arpaio, might soon be known as Arizona’s fiercest sheriff. Arpaio is gearing up for what he expects will be the toughest of his five re-election campaigns and he is pulling out all the stops this time by revealing his alter ego, “KoKo.” No stranger to controversy, Arpaio […]

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Hey SB1070 loser Russell Pearce, karma’s a bitch…

by Lalo Alcaraz August 30, 2012 Cartoons
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Our homies at NBC Latino are reporting that Aryanzona SB1070 creator and sloppy sack of sadness Russell Pearce has lost what is hopefully his final political campaign. We at POCHO are celebrating and gloating that this racist pendejo has been taken out by a fellow Republican. Hopefully he can join bag o’ drunken bones AZ […]

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AZ Gov. Jan Brewer unwraps her roots in Guanajuato, MX (photo)

by PHO PHOTO SYNDICATE August 27, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from MEXICO) In a bid to rehabilitate her image with Latinos, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer visits her old friends in Guanajuato, Mexico. RELATED: Gov. Brewja’s Self-Deportation Pods Witchy, Bitchy Gov. Brewja curbs dreamers MR. POCHO has a message for Gov. Brewja POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A […]

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Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull, wicked witch of the Southwest (toon)

by Gabriel Tellez Jr. June 29, 2012 Cartoons
Thumbnail image for Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull, wicked witch of the Southwest (toon)

Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull (aka Jan Brewer) Just thought I’d draw something for POCHO regarding the SB1070 ruling for this Fourth of July weekend. As a Chicano comic book nerd and artist, this is the best way for me to strike back against the Wicked Witch of the Southwest. Gabriel Tellez Jr. is the vato […]

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