tejasIn Freer, Texas, those vehicle rear window decals can get confusing.

What kind of men’s chonies does your grandma like? Boxers? Briefs? La Flama’s Abuelita has her own opinions.


In the beginning, the spacebrothers created the Heaven and the Planet Earth, and they saw that it was good. Later on, Man came along and screwed stuff up big time. Verily.

Dear Abuelita,
What is the deal on “sexting”? Do guys really think a low-res cam-phone photo of their junk will make me swoon with desire?

Take me to a gallery opening or a new artisan bakery or something dick-less, por plis.

If I judged boys by dick pics, my dance card would be filled with Stiff, Vein-y and Ugly. And that means you, Eduardo. Stop it!
Signed, Just an old-fashioned girl, I guess

Dear Old-Fashioned Whiner,
Let’s be honest, we all know you swoon over the low-res cell-cam photos. I’d even bet your cell phone is set on vibrate and kept tucked in your chonies, cochina. [Mas…]