marco rubio

The Gettysburg Address by the Presidents of the United States (videos)

by José Canusí November 19, 2013 Cultura
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Director Ken Burns got all the living Presidents — and some celebrity friends — to recite Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, the speech first delivered at a Civil War battlefield in Pennsylvania 150 years ago today. But when Civil War-reinacting Confederate soldier wannabes run into reality, rebellion doesn’t seem like so much fun any more:

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Swimmer Diana Nyad tows 400 balseros from Cuba to USA

by Lalo Alcaraz September 3, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from FLORIDA) Diana Nyad walked onshore here Monday, becoming the first person to swim from Cuba towing 400 escaping balseros. The 64-year-old Nyad swam up to the beach just before 2PM EDT, about 53 hours after she began her journey in Havana. As she approached, spectators waded into waist-high water and surrounded the […]

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Pocho Ocho things about the USA that surprise Cuban defectors

by BARRY SHNIKOV June 18, 2013 Cultura
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Cuban ballet dancers who recently defected from their troupe in Mexico and now live in Miami are “amazed at how many foods come canned and can be easily heated up in a microwave,” according to the Associated Press. Canned foods! But wait, there’s mas. Here are the Pocho Ocho other things about the U.S. that […]

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Elise Roedenbeck’s ‘MiJA Weekly’ Tax Day Espectacular 4.15.13 (video)

by Elise Valderrama April 15, 2013 El Now
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Happy Tax Day, pochos! This week on MiJA I discuss the near conclusion of back-room negotiations on immigration “reform” and delve deep into the heart of the Internets to discover Barbies of the World. You think Mexican Barbie is bad — Peruvian Barbie comes with an anchor baby (and she’s not the worst of them!)

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First Person: My moment with Marco Rubio and his big Cuban butt

by SMSHSPr0mQu33n1991@aol.com April 11, 2013 El Now
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I remember the high school student version of Marco Rubio, with his neatly-pressed shirts always tucked in, his toothy smile and his bleached white socks. But most of all, I remember his butt. The Cuban man butt holds a special place in my heart — it’s a thing of wonder and mystery. Why Cuban men […]

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Elise Roedenbeck’s ‘Mija Weekly’ breaks the ñews 02.25.13 (video)

by Elise Valderrama February 25, 2013 El Now
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This week on Mija: so much crying! I explain the sequester with a stick of butter and discuss Marco Rubio’s visit to Israel. Plus, a bunch of dead sea animals wash ashore mi tierra, Peru and I wear a sweater! Make sure to leave your questions and comments below.

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Elise Roedenbeck’s ‘Mija Weekly’ breaks the ñews 02.18.13 (video)

by Elise Valderrama February 18, 2013 El Now
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Happy Presidents Day from Mija Weekly! This week: the State of the Union is doomed! Also, I say adios to el Popa and hello to some ruby red slippers. Last, don’t forget it’s Lent (avoid pork chops and cruise ships.)

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Pocho Ocho reasons GOP Sen. Marco Rubio drank so much water

by Especial Correspondents February 13, 2013 El Now
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Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FLA) sure drank a lot of Poland Spring® water during his Republican State of the Union rebuttal speech Tuesday night. Here are the pocho ocho reasons the GOP’s Great Brown Hope was so thirsty: 8. He’s a pinche mojado 7. Global warming 6. He finds this bullshit hard to swallow himself

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@MexicanMitt Romney: The Estate of the Union esta chingada

by MEXICAN MITT ROMNEY February 13, 2013 El Now
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Hola Gueyes! This is my Live Tweet/State of the Union response chingadera. Will someone please get me a water, that bottle I’m looking at is right out of reach. CHINGAO! MEXIPHONE CHECK, JUAN TU, JUAN TU HIJOLE EL TWITTER IS ESLOW, IT’S MORE CLOGGED THAN THE TOILET AT EL TORITO HEY OBAMA, STOP TOUCHING THE […]

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From the ‘new’ GOP: Pocho Ocho things we shouldn’t say to Latinos

by JUAN HANNITY January 31, 2013 El Now
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GOP leaders are undergoing sensitivity training as they re-evaluate immigration reform. Too often, insiders say, Republicans’ choice of words has hidden their true love for Latinos. “Tone and rhetoric will be key,” is the message from Jennifer Korn, executive director of the Hispanic Leadership Network.  Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FLA), who chairs the GOP’s Vendido Caucus, champions “a […]

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Tio Sam’s official gummint blog: No Mayan Apocalypse for you

by Andalé Mono December 6, 2012 Doomsday Countdown
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Yes, your Uncle Sam wastes your tax money on blogs while millions suffer and our country lurches toward the fiscal cliff. And Tio Sam says no Mayan Apocalypse for you, despite the obvious DOOMSDAY 2012 COUNTDOWN CLOCK in the right column of EVERY PAGE ON POCHO which says we only have two weeks left! Ignoring […]

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La Cucaracha’s Latino Heritage Month Highlights (toon)

by Lalo Alcaraz September 24, 2012 Cartoons
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BREAKING: Romney VP search reaches deep in the heart of Texas

by Pocho Ñews Service August 10, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) BREAKING ÑEWS: Mitt Romney’s campaign “will neither confirm nor deny” that the GOP presidential candidate has chosen a running mate. The candidate’s vice presidential “short list” has long included Florida Sen. Marco Rubio and former governor Tim Pawlenty, but now campaign insiders are suggesting the search is over and Romney has chosen […]

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Pocho Ocho reasons Romney won’t choose Marco Rubio for VP

by Santino J. Rivera May 2, 2012 El Now
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As reported by the Miami Herald, there are about 8,000 reasons why Mitt Romney might not pick Florida’s Teabbagged Sen. Marco Rubio for as his running mate. Here are the top eight: 8. Sin Papeles. He’s illegal! It’s debatable who has the wetter back since Romney is from Mexico but Rubio is just as undocumented […]

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GOP seeks Hispanic vote, taps Seagal for ‘You’re Busted, Beaner!’

by Santino J. Rivera April 2, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Republicans scared to death worried about the GOP’s ridiculously awful poor standing with Hispanic non-Mexican-American voters have launched an election-year scramble to put a better spin on their party’s immigration problem. Their solution? A TV reality show starring Hollywood flunkie and all-around jackass, Steven Seagal. Seagal leads the list of C-level […]

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