nsa


LiveLeak’s Jeffrey Barber has some serious warnings for you guys so listen up, K?

The pulsating you can see on this desk are YOYO NIOPION. These are extraterrestrial termites. They voraciously consumer not only wood, but everything. I mean EVERYTHING! but stone. They eat glass, steel, aluminum, plastic, wood, but most of all, they like, lithium. They thrive on lithium.

The two places that lithium is big in our reality are batteries, and in our brains. The YOYO NIOPION eat both of these things.

Scary, right? You don’t know the half of it! [Mas…]

greensucker640It’s after Christmas and everything must go — and our prices are INSAAAAANE!

There’s nothing wrong with any of these state-of-the-art electronic spying devices we picked up at the NSA year-end auction. They’re new, they’re still in the original packaging and they are the very best in the world, except for one thing:

They are last year’s models.

That’s just not the way your National Security Agency rolls.

So check out these two items just released for sale (click to enlarge) and if you want to see more, click on the big link below. [Mas…]

offthechain

BadDog

FortuneTeller

Where are the ‘checks and balances’? (toon)

by ERIC J. GARCIA July 10, 2013 Cartoons
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Breaking: Bolivia says U.S. ‘racially-profiled’ Morales’ jet

by Malcolm Mex July 5, 2013 El Now
Thumbnail image for Breaking: Bolivia says U.S. ‘racially-profiled’ Morales’ jet

(PNS reporting from LA PAZ) Bolivian Pres. Evo Morales is angry that the United States “racially-profiled” his jet as it was leaving a conference in Moscow and forced it to land in Austria, the whitest country in Europe. Bolivian Foreign Minister David Choquehuanca, who was mistaken for Morales at a press conference in Vienna, said […]

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Online surge of Constitutional Law, Bible experts slows the Internets

by Comic Saenz June 27, 2013 El Now
Thumbnail image for Online surge of Constitutional Law, Bible experts slows the Internets

(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) The Internets slowed to a virtual crawl yesterday as millions of experts in Constitutional Law and The Holy Bible took to Twitter and Facebook to educate ignorant netizens about the God-hating freedom-attacking Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage. “It was definitely a brownout, dude,” according to 18-year-old Jaime “Twitchy” Loftwich, who […]

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The Beandocks: TXT MSG from Barack Obama (toon)

by Lalo Alcaraz June 21, 2013 Cartoons
Thumbnail image for The Beandocks: TXT MSG from Barack Obama (toon)
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Feds arrest ‘burrito-bomber’ who says CIA tapped his brain

by Comic Saenz June 14, 2013 El Now
Thumbnail image for Feds arrest ‘burrito-bomber’ who says CIA tapped his brain

(ALBUQUERQUE, NM) The Feds have arrested a man who allegedly threatened to detonate a bomb-filled burrito (artist’s conception, right) in the FBI office here, a man who has claimed that he was personally the subject of government spying. His shocking accusation? Uncle Sam AKA Tio Sam implanted brain-tapping equipment in his cabeza. Brian DeMarco, 50, a resident of […]

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