Coming soon from McKinney, Texas Police Productions, it’s the next summer horror science fiction cop flick, Attack of the 14-Year-Old Black Girl!
A frightening teen girl in a bikini terrorizes the police force of a small Texas suburb, making them respond with excessive force and brutality reserved only for the worst of America’s swimming thugs!
Who will protect our nation’s pool parties from this monster? Rated R for Racist!
Featuring Emma Stone as the Asian Neighbor.
School’s out, summer’s in. Where you going for vacation? Huh? We asked you a question!
OK then. Be that way. Two can play that game. Here’s our list of the Pocho Ocho worst possible vacation destinations:
8. Community service. Were you volunteered? Court-ordered? Did your mom rope you into it? Whether it’s babysitting bratty kids at church or painting over graffiti-ed walls that will be covered in new graffiti by the next morning, there’s nothing quite like serving your community.
7. The public pool. Why such a drag? Probably because it’s about 60% chlorine and 40% other peoples’ urine. Swim away!
6. Your family’s rancho in the old country. No running water, no AC, no TP, you may not speak the language, no TV, no Internet, your relatives laugh at you behind your back — or to your face — and you have no escape until your parents come back for you.
5. Sleeping under a cactus with your tío. What? Do Mexicans not do that anymore?
Some cats and dogs are smarter than people, according to a recent report. But you already knew that, didn’t you? Sit. Sit. That’s a good pocho. Not convinced about the intelligence thing? You need to see these pussy cats perform Over the Rainbow.