porn


POCHO amiga Elise Roedenbeck (who is sill on our masthead as NYC Bureau Chief Emeritus the fact of which we are periodically required to remind you of as a result of the settlement order, without admitting or denying guilt and/or culpability) explores the steamy sexy world of Dino Porn. These big hunks o’ meat are horny and your scent is just perfect. Elise is @buttronica on the Twitter. Don’t tell T-Rex we were sexting!

colombussantamariaThe wreck of slave-trader and hopelessly-lost “explorer” Christopher Columbus’ Santa Maria flagship has been found off the coast of Haiti, according to reports.

The ship’s five-century-old cannon was looted but archaeologists are excited by eight unusual items they were able to retrieve from the ship, the Pocho Ocho weirdest items found on the Santa Maria:

8. Antique syphilis specially imported into the Western Hemisphere by his crew

7. The most extensive collection of 15th-century porn ever found outside the Vatican Library

6. A Ferdinand and Isabella “after sex selfie” oil painting

[Mas…]


Sweet dreams are made of this -- who am I to disagree?
I travel the world and the seven seas. Everybody's looking for something.

Elise Roedenbeck — she’s @buttronica on the Twitter — learned the same lesson when she investigated the top porn search terms broken down by state. Everybody’s looking for something. They’re looking for massage. And cream pie. And cream pie massages. In somebody else’s state, right? Don’t be so sure.

PREVIOUSLY ON STUFF BROKEN DOWN BY STATES: [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Famed Mexican porn star Alejandro Montejainas was honored at a gala reception in Mexico City’s Zona Rosa last week.

Montejainas, who first gained public notoriety in his landmark 1967 film Chilito Lindo, has starred in more than 70 productions in a career that spans nearly four decades.

Perhaps best known for his political porn film El Sex-enio, Montejainas was a staunch advocate of sexual liberation in Mexico. In 1977 he founded a production studio, Buscochurro, which helped transform the Mexican sexual landscape with such films as Espaldas Mojadas, Buki Nights, Señor Treviño, Dong Juan, Santo vs. Blue Bolas, Shower of Gold and the 10-part series Ynez Sin Barreras.

Joining Montejainas at the head table were fellow industry heavyweights Rudy Alegre, Johnny Listo and Amber Tamalera. One of the highlights of the evening was the arrival of a telegram from former Mexican Pres. Carlos Salinas de Gortari which referred to Montejainas as “a friend to the Mexican home video industry.” The telegram was later read aloud to the audience. [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from TRENTON) “Chinese hackers infected my laptop and filled it with pornography,” an area beer sales executive told company help desk personnel yesterday. “I had no idea they could do that!”

Mark Mendoza, chief marketing officer for Buckman Brothers Beverages, said his company-issued Lenovo ThinkPad T530, a 15.6” powerhouse equipped with high productivity features and leading wireless options that keep him powered and unplugged around the clock, started acting strangely after a trip to CraftBrewCon2013 in Tallahassee last week. [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from VAN NUYS) Adult movie editor Roberto Mendoza was fired from his job at Burning Sensations Movie Productions last week after being repeatedly caught browsing spreadsheets on his computer.

“It started innocently enough,” he told PNS. “There I was editing a facial pop shot compilation from our Fish Tacos series, when I noticed someone had left a spreadsheet of sales figures in with the video files.”

“I’d always been a little…curious. I took a break from Final Cut Pro and opened up the file, and suddenly my screen was filled with all these rigid columns of data.”

A spokesman from Burning Sensations said that following his dismissal, an inspection of Mendoza’s computer had revealed a hidden folder containing over 3,000 spreadsheets. [Mas…]

Dear Sexy Girl Offering Me Free Nude Pictures (NSFW video)

by JUAN BOEHNER September 14, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Dear Sexy Girl Offering Me Free Nude Pictures (NSFW video)

Yessir. I got the link via email, and then later by text message. It was from this really hot chica — well at least her profile pic was hot. And she wanted to send me — ME — free nude photos!

[Mas…]

Will ‘Fifty Shades of Brown’ dominate Latino erotica market?

by Lucida Grandé July 10, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Will ‘Fifty Shades of Brown’ dominate Latino erotica market?

(PNS reporting from NEW YORK CITY) Major book publisher Vintage House Editions announced the release this week of a Latino version of the popular soft-porn bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey. Written by Santa Fe-based author Carmen Camacho, Fifty Shades of Brown is the erotic tale of a young woman swept up by a charming, detached older man […]

[Mas…]