president

Ted Cruz campaign tracts warn of ‘Satan’s Spiritual Structure’

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tedcruzcheatsheetWhile Senator Ted Cruz (R-Canadia) was telling the crowd “To God be the Glory” [In Arabic, this is “Allahu Akbar”] in his Des Moines, Iowa victory speech Monday night, PNS snagged an example of the tracts campaign aides were passing out to the crowd — tracts detailing the Christian Sharia Law we can expect under President Cruz.

The rest of the tract is here….

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

Pocho Ocho top ways to tell it’s all over for JEB! (sad videos)

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It’s not a good sign when you have to ask the crowd to “Please clap,” like former Governor Jeb Bush (R-Florida) at a New Hampshire campaign rally Tuesday.

JEB! may not yet be prepared to admit he’s already lost, but we are, Fat Lady or not. Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways to Tell It’s All Over for Jeb Bush:

8. Briefly lost consciousness after choking on a pretzel

7. Hired New Orleans/Katrina FEMA guy “Brownie” as replacement campaign manager

6. Spotted holding hands with Saudi royalty

Mas…Pocho Ocho top ways to tell it’s all over for JEB! (sad videos)

Pocho Ocho top lessons of the Iowa GOP caucuses (NSFW video)

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What can we learn from the Senator Ted Cruz (R-Canadia) victory Monday in the Iowa GOP caucuses? It’s time to support CANADIANS FOR PRESIDENT! [NSFW video, one F-bomb.]

And what else? How about the Pocho Ocho Top Lessons We Learned from the Iowa GOP Caucuses:

8. He who smelt it, dealt it.

7. If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry caucus.

6. I know you are, but what am I?

Mas…Pocho Ocho top lessons of the Iowa GOP caucuses (NSFW video)

It’s time to elect our first woman President – Olive Oyl (video)

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olive3Popeye’s beloved, the willowly Olive Oyl, thinks the country would be much better off with a lady president — President Olive Oyl!

olive1Her platform includes housing the homeless, a shorter work week, sweet sexy dreams, more silkworms, more drumsticks per chicken, and nuking a recalcitrant Congress with love darts.

We agree!

Mas…It’s time to elect our first woman President – Olive Oyl (video)

Hillary: I’m like your abuela! Twitter: #NoMames #NotMyAbuela

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hilllaryabuelaHillary Clinton’s campaign shared the “7 Ways Hillary Clinton Is Just Like Your Abuela” on her website Tuesday (photo), after daughter Chelsea announced that she was pregnant.

“[Hillary] isn’t afraid to talk about the importance of el respeto,” the site proclaimed, and “she knows what’s best.”

Also, we learned, “she reacts this way when people le faltan el respeto:”

Mas…Hillary: I’m like your abuela! Twitter: #NoMames #NotMyAbuela