primary

fbizombies(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) The FBI is warning citizens to be on the lookout for hungry zombies attracted by the brains spewed from the exploding heads of diehard Bernie Bros.

Bernie Sanders supporters’ brains, the Feds said, are piling up on the streets of gentrified neighborhoods across America.

The brainiac explosions followed Sanders’ endorsement of Democratic presidential nomination rival Hillary Clinton this morning.

“These zombies especially love the entitled taste of Bernie Bro brains,” FBI spokesman Whitman “Ken” Jump told a press conference here today (photo). “We’re calling them Zombros.[Mas…]

BERNIEMEX[There’s lots more from Alex Garcia de Aztlan on the Instagram.]

superkkk [Mas…]

catetrumpcliff

cruzrubioGrowing up on the mean streets of East Los Angeles, I, like many of my childhood friends, feared the police more than the local gang, Big Hazard. Specifically, we dreaded Latino police officers, since they had a reputation of being more brutal than their white peers with us — poor Chicano kids from the projects.

By verbally and physically harassing us, the Latino officers reinforced their 100 percent loyalty to their white peers and police department. Similarly, just like in my old barrio, in the Republican presidential-nomination battle, we can clearly see how the two Latino candidates, Sens. Marco Rubio (Florida) and Ted Cruz (Texas), go the extra mile to demonstrate their loyalty to their white peers and mostly white electorate with their anti-Latino immigrant agenda. [Mas…]

hilarybern
[Dan McClintock is an artist, animator and illustrator.]

Pocho Ocho Top Facts You Need to Know About New Hampshire

by Comic Saenz February 10, 2016 El Now
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Donald Trump’s and Bernie Sanders’ stunning victories Tuesday don’t make sense unless you know the hidden history of the state of New Hampshire. That’s the reason we researched and compiled the Pocho Ocho Top Facts You Need to Know About New Hampshire: 8. New HAMpshire is known for its “HAM aroma” which inspired the hit […]

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Can the GOP boost their Latino vote using the ‘Raza Card’? (toon)

by ERIC J. GARCIA February 10, 2016 Cartoons
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When Robots Go Wrong: The Marco Rubio Story (toon)

by DAN MCCLINTOCK February 8, 2016 Cartoons

[Dan McClintock is an artist, animator and illustrator.]

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La Cucaracha: So Hillary is like my abuela? (toon)

by Lalo Alcaraz January 15, 2016 Cartoons
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Alaskans praise candidate who will save us from illegals with tats

by María Purísima August 15, 2014 El Now
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(PNS reporting from ANCHORAGE, AK) Some they call him Joe, some they call him Doh! but one group of Alaska voters is 100% behind Joe Miller, the Tea Party-affiliated candidate who is seeking a United States Senate nomination. “His campaign mailer (click on photo to enlarge) convinced us that Miller will do a great job […]

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Ricky Martin Santorum wants Puerto Rico to be blahlingual

by Lalo Alcaraz March 16, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from POCHO RICO) Former senator and current GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum caused a furor on this island yesterday when he said English would have to be the “main language” for the Puerto Rican Commonwealth to ever become a state. To be fair, when Santorum told a campaign rally crowd here in San […]

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Daniel D. Portado invites you to Hispanics for Romney AZ rally

by Xapi Trailes February 28, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) GOP wannabe Mitt Romney’s Hispanic outreach coordinator Daniel D. Portado, the militant self-deportationist, wants you to stop by the big campaign rally today after you vote for Mitt. Meet your favorite Latino-loving politicians like Gov. Jan Brewer, Sheriff Joe Arpaio and Sheriff Paul Babeu.

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@DanielDPortado: Up close and personal (video)

by Andalé Mono February 14, 2012 El Now
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Conservative Republican Hispanic activist Daniel D. Portado, the original self-deportationist, explains the origin of the self-deportation movement in his own words. Portado’s rallying cry is now backed by GOP wannabe Mitt Romney. Portado is on Twitter, too. Video by Giovanni Solis and Eduardo M Zamora.

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Clean sweep: Santorum not pooped out yet

by Lalo Alcaraz February 8, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from THE HEARTLAND) Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum swept the nominating contests in Missouri, Minnesota and Colorado Tuesday night, claiming, “My campaign is far from pooped out.” The fiercest gay-baiting candidate in recent history, Santorum now has four victories under his belt in the GOP race, more than any other closeted candidate. “People […]

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GOP primary votes drive ‘knowledge industry’ shares lower

by Verdana Bold February 1, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from WALL STREET) The spectacle of enthusiastic GOP voters choosing one pinche pendejo or the other in the Florida primaries sent the widely-watched RIF index lower Tuesday, as investors acted on fears that ignorance was the new black. The Reading Is Fundamental index tracks firms like academic textbook publishers, for-profit educators and sliderule […]

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Moonbase issue casts shadow on final GOP debate

by Lalo Alcaraz January 30, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) The moon was high on the debate agenda last night as Gov. Mitt Romney and former Rep. Newt Gingrich crossed lightsabers with both candidates fighting hard to capture the crucial lunar vote. The encounter, held at Farpoint Station Laser Tag in Orlando, was the 79th GOP debate and the last […]

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Week of Ñews: AZ showdown, FLA follies, CT jerk, MX mischief

by Comic Saenz January 29, 2012 El Now
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President Barack Obama flew into Arizona and was greeted on the tarmac by a nasty Gov. Jan Brewer; POCHO has the audio. In political news, Herman Cain backed Newt Gingrich in the GOP nomination race and released a new poster, while Newt’s peeps supplied a subtitled version of his Spanish-language TV commercial. Jerkiosity spread to […]

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BREAKING: Cain backs Gingrich, releases campaign poster

by Lucida Grandé January 28, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) In an apparent play for the VP nod, former gangster pizza mogul and serial groper Herman Cain has endorsed former Freaker of the Spouse Newt Gingrich in his bid for the Republican presidential nomination. Enthusiastic Cain aides leaked this prototype of their dream ticket campaign poster. Earlier this week, the […]

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Video: Gingrich Spanish TV ad now with English subtitles

by Verdana Bold January 27, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) As the Newt Gingrich campaign fights to win votes in the upcoming GOP primaries, his campaign has reached out to the Sunshine State’s Spanish-espeaking voters. As a public service, the former Freaker of the Spouse has prepared this version of the commercial with subtitles for voters who don’t habla Espanol. […]

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Breaking Ñews: @MexicanMitt releases first campaign poster

by Bronco del Camino January 24, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from NEAR THE BORDER) Campaign aides at Gov. Mitt Romney’s headquarters at a palatial goat rancho here have just released the candidate’s first campaign poster. Romney released his first English-subtitled Spanish-language commercial last week. “The Most Mexican Man In The World,” @MexicanMitt is  pictured enjoying the glamorous lifestyle of a “Baindido” of the […]

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Romney campaign releases subtitled ‘Nosotros’ TV ad

by Andalé Mono January 19, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from the CAYMAN ISLANDS) Addressing complaints from English-speaking voters that his new Spanish-language Nosotros TV commercial was Greek to them, Gov. Mitt Romney’s campaign today released a subtitled version of the ad, available here for the first time as a POCHO exclusive video. POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF THE […]

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Forget Romney – Gingrich tops PNS ¿Quien Es Mas Loco? poll

by Victor Payan January 11, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from NEW ENGLAND) While former Gov. Mitt Romney (R-MA) led the pack in Tuesday’s New Hampshire GOP primary, it was former House speaker Newt Gingrich who emerged as the solid leader in the first PNS Presidential Race War ¿Quien es Mas Loco? poll. Gingrich’s “Contract on America,” his conversion to Catholicism and his […]

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Which Juan is it?

by Lalo Alcaraz January 7, 2012 Cartoons
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