resort


RUPTLY, the Russian fake news and propaganda video channel, features endless news clips about how everything that’s not Russia is going to Hell in a hoopty.

This new video introduces a publicity-savvy chef who seeks to entice rich assholes into paying $25,000 for gold-leaf-garnished tacos (Kobe beef, lobster, Beluga caviar, foie gras, extra pretension included, guacamole extra charge) in Cabo San Lucas.

It looks like two folks chowed down on the admittedly beautiful tacos for the cameras, but were they ringers or customers? If you spend $25,000 staying the Presidential Suite, the tacos are free, so that’s something.

RUPTLY explains and translates: [Mas…]

consuelaShe’s up at 5:45 in the morning to make her kids and husband breakfast and lunch for the day; waiting to make her own meals last. She pulls out the tortillas fresh off the comal because she doesn’t believe in store bought shit. She’s authentic, raw and loyal to her traditions. She slips into her outfit and watches a little bit of the news as she waits for her ride, even though she can’t quite understand what the news lady is saying in English. Someone honks outside and she grabs her bags, jacket and rushes out the door. She fights her tired eyes on the car ride for the next forty-five minutes and instead pretends to be interested in what her co-worker/companion has to say. What are the latest chismes? “Cindi from work left her husband and child. She ran off with another man and they say that guy is three times her age and we are all sure Cindi is only in it for the papeles….” [Mas…]

estreching


There’s lots of rum at this Camaguey, Cuba resort hotel bar and nothing goes better with rum than that Lennon y McCartney favorite, Hey Yude.

xochitlgames(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Hundreds of competitors and an equal number of spectators are expected for the opening of the first Xochitl Games here tomorrow.

The so-called “Indigenous Olympics,” organized by the Nahuatl Athletic Council Organization (NACO), hopes to share some of the buzz from the regular Winter Olympics, in Sochi.

NACO is especially counting on people who are unsure how to spell the name of the Black Sea resort city in the Google search window, or even better, can’t spell when booking airplane and hotel reservations through Travelocity. [Mas…]

School’s out, summer’s in. Where you going for vacation? Huh? We asked you a question!

OK then.  Be that way. Two can play that game. Here’s our list of the Pocho Ocho worst possible vacation destinations:

8. Community service. Were you volunteered? Court-ordered? Did your mom rope you into it? Whether it’s babysitting bratty kids at church or painting over graffiti-ed walls that will be covered in new graffiti by the next morning, there’s nothing quite like serving your community.

7. The public pool. Why such a drag? Probably because it’s about 60% chlorine and 40% other peoples’ urine. Swim away!

6. Your family’s rancho in the old country. No running water, no AC, no TP, you may not speak the language, no TV, no Internet, your relatives laugh at you behind your back — or to your face — and you have no escape until your parents come back for you.

5. Sleeping under a cactus with your tío. What? Do Mexicans not do that anymore? [Mas…]