satire
Openly-Latino Lalo Alcaraz explains himself and ‘Bordertown’ (video)
FUSION Live’s host Mariana Atencio came to POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz’ studio to get up close and personal with the openly-Latino cartoonist.
White privilege explained in a great comic
This white privilege comic is awesome.
Unfortunately, Internet trolls and racists ran off the poor girl who created it.
You can see the whole thing here, and we promise it’s worth the click!
America to pause Monday for Ricky Martin Luther King Jr. Day 2014
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) America will pause Monday to remember the life and message of Ricky Martin Luther King Jr., whose Tengo a Dream y Dance! speech changed the nation forever.
Post offices and other public facilities will be closed, banks and stock exchanges take the day off and salsa picante and sweet potato pie – his favorite snack combo – are on sale all across America. Today would have been RMLK’s 34th birthday.
Despite his tragic death in 2007 (he was shot and killed by the president of his fan club before an appearance in Dallas) King’s promotion of “love, equality, justice, innocence, malice, refuge, oppression, freedom” has continued to resonate among confused Latinos and Anglos alike.
Mas…America to pause Monday for Ricky Martin Luther King Jr. Day 2014
As the Duck Farts: El Pato demands POCHO retract ‘sketchy salsa’ story
An attorney who claims to represent Walker Foods, U.S. distributors of El Pato (The Duck) salsa, demanded Thursday that POCHO “retract and correct” parts of our story Pocho Ocho sketchy substances in Mexican hot sauce besides lead, even though he acknowledges it is satire.
Downtown Los Angeles lawyer Robert M. Newell, Jr. also wants POCHO to “remove the contrived picture showing what purports to be a bottle of El Pato Salsa Picante bearing a skull and crossbones,” adding that the “story is puro pedo!” (The letter is below.)
Mas…As the Duck Farts: El Pato demands POCHO retract ‘sketchy salsa’ story
POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz explains himself (audio)
It’s Ray’s Podcast — from the Ciudad of Brotherly Love.
Mas…POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz explains himself (audio)
Merry Christmas from ‘Pancho Claus’ and Lalo Guerrero (videos)
Pancho Claus? He’s Santa’s cousin from south of the border! Long before he recorded novelty tunes, Lalo Guerrero was a star. Some call him the Father of Chicano music.
Mas…Merry Christmas from ‘Pancho Claus’ and Lalo Guerrero (videos)
Laugh your nalgas off with ‘The Best of Culture Clash’ (video)
Enjoy this hour-long compilation of skits from the pioneering Chicano Los Angeles comedy troupe’s television program. LOLz guaranteed or your money back.
Chuy, Smiley, Bob Barker, Drew Cary star in ‘Hey Vato!’ (NSFW video)
The Price Is Right game show and a public service announcement inspire the Hey Vato! couch potatoes Smiley (left, in the bandanna) and Chuy to reconsider their personal policies on spaying and neutering their pets, and, in a broader, more holistic sense, their life priorities. (NSFW language.)
Will Ferrell sings? In Spanish? ‘Yo no se’ from ‘Casa de Mi Padre’
Of course he sings in Spanish! The movie is IN Spanish! Wikipedia:
Casa de Mi Padre (English: My Father’s House) is an upcoming Spanish-language American comedy film. The film stars Will Ferrell, Gael García Bernal, Diego Luna and Génesis Rodríguez with Matt Piedmont directing a screenplay written by Andrew Steele. The film has been described to be in the style of an “overly dramatic telenovela” and tells the story of Armando Alvarez, who must save his father’s ranch from a powerful drug lord. Casa de Mi Padre is set for release next week.
Here’s the trailer:
Mas…Will Ferrell sings? In Spanish? ‘Yo no se’ from ‘Casa de Mi Padre’
Ñewsweek: Hectors and actors and commentators oh my
POCHO’s ñews team started the week in glossy Hollyweird and ended up scraping the crap off their shoes near Rush Limbaugh’s headquarters in La Floridita, but the big story of the week was the release of Mexican Mitt Romney’s music video/camapaign commercial.
Will the GOP wannabe become the nation’s first Latino president? And why does his MittShake bring all the viejas to yard? You’ll have to watch and figure it out yourself!
The Academy Awards were just around the corner from installation artist Ramiro Gomez Jr. so he made sure the neighborhood got to see normally-invisible Latino elements of the star-making machinery with a poignant installation on Hollywood Boulevard.
Pocho Ocho reasons we weren’t invited to the Oscars
In Hollywood, they say, Oscar is king. So why didn’t POCHO get invited to the king’s Big Night Out?
8. All the valet gigs are sewn up by Telemundo producers.
7. They only invite Hispanics with the right attitude, with good credit and who play well with others.
6. There is an industry ban on pastel Quinceañera Tuxedos.
5. They think Mexican Mitt is a Cuban baseball catcher.
Sh¡t Latinos Don’t Say (video)
“Oh Arizona! I love Jan Brewer!” — and more! Great video by BeingLatino.us.
@DanielDPortado: Up close and personal (video)
Conservative Republican Hispanic activist Daniel D. Portado, the original self-deportationist, explains the origin of the self-deportation movement in his own words. Portado’s rallying cry is now backed by GOP wannabe Mitt Romney. Portado is on Twitter, too.
Video by Giovanni Solis and Eduardo M Zamora.
@MexicanMitt TV ad: ‘The Most Mexican Man In The World’
(PNS reporting from an undisclosed Goat Ranch in Chihuahua) Mexican Mitt Romney’s headquarters here today released their first television commercial, a tribute to the “most Mexican man in the world.” This ad shows why @MexicanMitt is the leader of the Juan Percent. He doesn’t always make TV commercials, but when he does, they’re pinche funny. Stay wealthy, my friends.
Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Nopales for gringos y pochos
Gwell, I am writing this blogue porque my son said that we went on the google because he was doing a reporte for school.
Y you know what happened when he typed “Mexican Chef”? He said a white guy from Oklahoma popped up first, like he was the most important chef in Mexico or something. So, he tole me I can make better tamales than this gringo with a white mustache and I tole him, yeah, I can.
My pobre son is a little pocho, so him and other pochitos out there have to learn how to make the real food from our homeland. None of that nouveau Latin cuisine shit. My comadre tole me I’m too Mexican for the Food Network. I tole her I don’t want to be on camera anygway cuz I hate my arms.
My blogue is not gonna be call “Spicy It Up” or “Super Delicioso” or nothing like that. There is no going to be no salsa music (whish is Cuban by the gway) playing in the background. Is just me, Tia Lencha, in my cocina with my apron and my son typing on his computer.
S. J. Rivera: My Guantanamo Bay self-deportation book tour
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) Ace Pocho Ñews Service contributor, author and hardcore poet (Demon in the Mirror and Amerikkkan Stories) S. J. Rivera sat down to talk to himself about his Self-Deportation Book Tour and what it’s like to have a book signing at Guantanamo Bay.
PNS: Your new book is AmeriKKKan Stories (Hardcore Poetry) – is it a Klan book or…?
S. J. Rivera: Yes and no. Actually there’s a very true story in there about the time I ran a guy over with my car. His name was Donny and I hit him on purpose because he may or may not have been in the klan(Hi, Donny!) There’s stuff in there about redneck zen, badmouthing the government, pochismo, fat Elvis, EMS horror stories, McDonald’s Nazis – you name it, it’s in there.
Mas…S. J. Rivera: My Guantanamo Bay self-deportation book tour
Write the best church sign message and win something cool! *
We had lots of fun last night with the “church sign generator” at Says-it.com and came up with this little image which we thought would make for a good contest.
In the comments below, write your suggested language for the sign.
Funniest entry wins.
Contest ends at midnight and we’ll send the winner something cool!
And the winner is Nora Guadalajara! Click on [Mas…] or scroll down to see her winning entry.
Mas…Write the best church sign message and win something cool! *
Pochismo 101 Edu-Video: ‘How to be a cholo’ (NSFW)
Would you like to swing on a star? Carry moonbeams home in a jar? And be better off than you are? Or would you rather be a cholo? Watch this video to find out how! NSFW (language.)
Ñewsy Week: Daniel D Portado returns, AL ♥ CA y much more
A busy ñewsweek brought the return to glory of the original self-deportationist, Daniel D. Portado, who, it turns out, is a fictional character created by POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz; an Alabama plan to import Canadians to replace the immigrant labor that used to keep the state running; and militant MEChA murmurings about the Lack of Visible Latinos in the hit BBC/PBS series Downton Abbey.
Other top stories included First Lady Michelle Obama’s partnership with Caribbean food conglomerate Goya and the astounding “installation art” of Ramiro Gomez, Jr. Here’s our big list:
Mas…Ñewsy Week: Daniel D Portado returns, AL ♥ CA y much more
Daniel D. Portado tells Rachel Maddow about ‘self-deportation’ (video)
Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz joined the Rachel Maddow show on MSNBC Wednesday evening to discuss the fictional Daniel D. Portado character he created in 1994 to mock a racist California anti-immigrant measure. Lalo’s “self-deportation” hoax solution for undocumented residents was reborn last week as GOP hopeful Mitt Romney suggested “illegal” immigrants should “self-deport.”
Tucson schools ban the A-B-C’s – are the 1-2-3’s next?
(PNS reporting from TUCSON) Even as John Huppenthal takes a breather now that teaching the alphabet is banned in Tucson schools, his Taliban-style campaign of education purification continues in the hands of allies.
“We won’t stop with just readin’ and writin’,” they say, “so ‘rithmetic is next!”
Superintendent of Public Instruction Huppenthal told PNS why he is terrified by brown-skinned children who read books and ask preguntas:
Hispanic labor federation backs Romney nomination
(PNS reporting from DIXIE) The Latino Labor Association and Limpiadores Alliance today announced they are backing former Mass. Gov. Mitt Romney in advance of Saturday’s South Carolina GOP primary vote.
LALALA president Ed “Big Tiny” Calvados said Romney offers the best hope for Hispanics to achieve the American dream of fame, fortune and greed.
“The choice is obvious,” he said. “Gingrich wants to take our food stamps and ghetto language, Santorum’s trickle-down stinks and Rick Perry’s Tejano tushie will get spanked in the general election.”
“Mitt walks the walk. Take his position on jobs,” he said. “Mitt has eight houses, and if you figure a gardener and a housekeeper in each, that’s almost a dozen and a half gente off the welfare rolls and onto the payroll.”
Am I a racist because I want to date Latino guys?
During my seemingly eternal quest for love, I’ve been accused more than once of being “racist” for mostly dating Latinos.
Part of this is totally my fault and the result of my whining and chiflazón. There’s a misunderstanding about what motivates me and other people like me, who are interested primarily in dating other Latinos.
First and foremost, let me say that I have dated mostly pochos like me, but I’ve also dated Cubans, white men, and Asian men, finally coming to the conclusion that all men on this planet are idiots when they are in their 20s. Some of my complaints, which other Latinas share, include: They want to get married too soon, or they’re divorced with kids young, they’re too short, as you become more educated there are less Latinos around you, they’re scared of educated/professional women. The list goes on.
The Week in Ñews: Iowa analysis, death by chihuahua, looking ‘Mexican’
Hatred of the poor edged out racism and homophobia in the Iowa GOP caucuses, a Fresno man was mauled by chihuahuas and died of shame, and the attempt to repeal the California Dream Act failed when the referendum’s backer (photo, right) couldn’t score enough racist jerkwad signatures to get their scheme placed on the ballot.
For these Pochostan stories and more, click here:
Mas…The Week in Ñews: Iowa analysis, death by chihuahua, looking ‘Mexican’
Daily Show Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal tells all
Comic, actor and soon-to-get-a-fulltime gig Al Madrigal dropped by POCHO world headquarters and Pocho-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz got him to sit down for an impromptu and poorly-lit chat.
Al talks about his move from LA to NYC for his new Daily Show news team gig and reveals a joint project with POCHO.
The Math4Men™ formula: BOOBS+BUTT–WAIST=♥ (I think)
A girl can never win.
When I was in seventh grade, I was derided for being flat-chested. When I was in college I was derided for having ample junk in the trunk. As a 20-something I was felt self-conscious because I didn’t have thin legs.
It turns out, depending on who you ask, this is all good — or all lacking. It’s confusing: do Latino men want voluptuous or not? Or do they only want voluptuous in certain places? Do they just like to drool over skinny women on TV, but when they get home prefer something more ample? What are the mathematics on being an “adequately-attractive” Latina?
Traditional GOP caucus ritual marks Iowanian New Year
(PNS reporting from THE HEARTLAND, USA) Thousands of Iowanians are fighting their way across the wind-blown plains today to perform the traditional Republican caucus ritual. Sioux City City College PoliSci Professor Rico Alvarado explains the Ceremony of the Caucus this way:
First, the gabachos make a 4WD posada to the high school gym for the ritual gathering. There, by standing and waving, they compete for a majority of the donuts and coffee. The Caucus Ceremony must end before the Big Tornado Siren heralds the start of the Iowanian New Year.
We photographed six citizens and asked them to evaluate the political process and the contenders. Here they are and here’s what they said:
Hoy in History 1/3: Drunk ‘how to cook a taco’ video? Must be Taco Tuesday!
It’s the year’s very first Taco Tuesday, which means you can laugh yourself back to work with this borracho taco recipe video.
Cooking while drunk is dangerous, especially if it involves charp knives. Don’t try this at home.
Lalo Alcaraz: A cartoonista’s 2011 year in review
There are a million stories in the naked barrio. Here are some of mine from 2011.
Background music: ‘Viva Tirado’ by The Bullets. Used by permission. Thanks, pochos!
Hoy in History 1/1 and welcome to 2012, the Mayan last year
The Zapatista Rebellion was born this day in 1994 – Que Viva EZLN!
The Zapatistas… issued a declaration which amounted to a declaration of war on the Mexican government, which they considered so out of touch with the will of the people as to make it completely illegitimate.
Welcome to 2012, the last year, according to the Mayan Calendar, which predicts the end of the world on Dec. 21. No worries – we have what you need:
- A countdown clock on the right so you can sync your watch for the big day
- This New Age technomuzak didactic rap video by Gurudevi which links the Mayan wisdom to a properly calibrated understanding of the 13-month-cycles of noospheric spacetime (WARNING DON’T WATCH THIS VIDEO IF YOU ARE DRIVING):
Mas…Hoy in History 1/1 and welcome to 2012, the Mayan last year