sex tape

pennelchapoEl Chapo’s secret meetup with Sean Penn was just the tip of the iceberg, Goldberg, whatever.

The notorious drug lord is a whole new vato now — and here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways You Can Tell El Chapo Has “Gone Hollywood”:

8. He’s dating Kate Hudson

7. He’s on an all-cactus juice cleanse to drop weight for the upcoming pilot season

6. He just reached 200k followers on Instagram [Mas…]

Like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben, these two salsa estrellas were made for each other. But we never thought we’d see a Señorita Cholula/Señor Tapatio sex tape with them doin’ the nasty at Denny’s. And now you can, too. POCHO.COM – where sharing is caring. (NSFW simulated adult activities: When a man and a woman love each other very much, they hug each other with a very special hug…)