Coming Soon: Attack of the 14-Year-Old Black Girl!

texaspoliceComing soon from McKinney, Texas Police Productions, it’s the next summer horror science fiction cop flick, Attack of the 14-Year-Old Black Girl!

A frightening teen girl in a bikini terrorizes the police force of a small Texas suburb, making them respond with excessive force and brutality reserved only for the worst of America’s swimming thugs!

Who will protect our nation’s pool parties from this monster? Rated R for Racist!

Featuring Emma Stone as the Asian Neighbor.

Mas…Coming Soon: Attack of the 14-Year-Old Black Girl!

Area Man’s Dilemma: ‘Work on beach body or just wear a t-shirt?’

mexicanswim(PNS reporting from HOUSTON) Julio Reyes wanted a beach body shape this Summer, but after weighing changing his diet, swapping soda for water and committing to a strenuous of weights and cardio, he reconsidered.

“I think I’m just going to wear my t-shirt with my swim trunks this year,” he told PNS. “That way, if my workout regimen doesn’t kick in ‘til later no one will notice.”

Mas…Area Man’s Dilemma: ‘Work on beach body or just wear a t-shirt?’

Swimmer Diana Nyad tows 400 balseros from Cuba to USA

balserosweb(PNS reporting from FLORIDA) Diana Nyad walked onshore here Monday, becoming the first person to swim from Cuba towing 400 escaping balseros. The 64-year-old Nyad swam up to the beach just before 2PM EDT, about 53 hours after she began her journey in Havana.

As she approached, spectators waded into waist-high water and surrounded the Cuban refugees, and offering them water. “I have three messages. One is, we should never, ever give up. Two is, you’re never too old to chase your dream. Three is, all you Cubans better pay me the smuggling money you owe me.”

“I have to say, I’m a little bit out of it right now,” Nyad said. She gestured toward her swollen lips, and simply said “Cubans.”

Mas…Swimmer Diana Nyad tows 400 balseros from Cuba to USA