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Company claims indigenous communities lived on maiz, tortillas and McRibs

(PNS reporting from CHICHEN ITZA) In a fresh effort by McDonald’s to prove that “tamales are a thing of the past,” the U.S. food chain has opened locations at famed Aztec and Mayan sites of Teotihuacan and Chichen Itza, with plans to expand to Guatemala’s Tikal and Peru’s Machu Picchu, according to a spokesperson. [Mas…]

immigrationscaleChina and India now top Mexico as leading sources of new immigrants to the United Estates, new data reveals.

What are the Pocho Ocho top changes we can expect from these evolving patterns in immigration?

8. Indian actors will replace Puerto Ricans playing Mexicans on TV

7. San Jose, California will be known as Sanjay, California

6. White people will be considered “the model minority” [Mas…]

baylessbookcoverDear pochos thinking of boycotting Thanksgiving as a symbol of American imperialism: Check out these indigenous and ingenious options for a holiday dinner. We promise they won’t remind people of genocide. Why settle for a Turducken, for example, when you can enjoy these delicacies featured in Native Holiday Treats from Indigenous Mexico by Rick Bayless.

8. Burrlenguaj:  California burritos wrapped in lengua, stuffed in a turkey.

7. Poznudo: a bowl of pozole inside a bowl of menudo, eaten while nude.

6. Chilnobaza (Vegetarian): A chile relleno stuffed inside a nopal stuffed inside a calabaza and fried in lard.

[Mas…]


Prince Harry’s CNN interview about combat in Afghanistan is just gonna have to wait. One does not simply ignore the amplified call of the tamalero oaxaceño!

The minute we heard the United States Air Force had planned and carried out Operation Chimichanga, we knew there had to be more to the story.  Our Pentagon sources confirmed the hunch:  The inspiration for the “chimichanga” code name was the way the Tex-Mex fried-burrito-belly-busters incapacitated unwary diners every time.  The brass hats’ hope was that secret teams in state-of-the-art aircraft could make the enemy moan just like fajita-fed TGIFridays customers on Cinco de Mayo.

There is more to the story — the pocho ocho secret Pentagon operations still in the planning stages:

8. Operation Don’t Drink the Water: Secret “wetback” forces from the Navy SEALS sneak into enemy territory and dose the water  with “pedo-biotic” agents bioengineered to cause widespread “Montezuma’s Revenge.”  This is expected to cause pandemic personal distress, lessen the enemy’s fighting capability and reduce water pressure.

7. Operation Hot Tamale: Inspired by the guetherman’s motto of “cool today, hot tamale,” stealthy airborne drones seed enemy skies with specially-formulated lard and masa pellets that trap your fat, screw your cholesterol and clot your veins.  [Mas…]